


Room AU

by DontStopBaylieving



Series: Room AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Room (2015), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lady Loki, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Room (2015) AU, Suicide Attempt, fem!Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontStopBaylieving/pseuds/DontStopBaylieving
Summary: After being held captive by Thanos in an enclosed space, Loki and her young son, Fenrir, finally gain their freedom, allowing Fenrir to experience the outside world for the first time. Loki too must adjust to life back outside of captivity and learn where she and Fenrir fit.





	1. Birthday Cake

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work ever so be nice :). This is basically the movie Room (2015) if you have ever seen it. The dialogue is pretty much the same, I might have changed it up a bit. Sorry if my grammar is bad, it's been a long time since I've written anything. All rights belong to the owners. I am not claiming that any of this writing or the stories belong to me, I just had an idea after watching the movie again. All names and references to the Marvel universe belong to the MCU.

Loki groans as the lights flicker on and off from the single light in Room. She glances over at Fenrir, who is still asleep. She rolls out of bed and stands, stretching her limbs out the best she can. 

She glances over the small room and wills herself not to cry or picture the outside world. There is only Room and Fenrir. She feels her stomach growl, something more that is more common than not, and she takes the few steps to the "kitchen" area.

The small kitchen cabinet to her left holds their only dishes on a single dish rack: two big and small white plates, bowls, cups, spoons (one with a melted handle), can opener, wooden spoon, and spatula. Next is a basic stove with rags on its handle, the only thing close to pot holders. There are several things that are attached to the wall, limiting their range of motion, such as: dull butter knives, forks, the pair of scissors, a serrated knife, and the pots and pans. Thanos took no chances. Next to the stove is the small refrigerator, with toys on top and paintings on the door, next to it a tiny trash can. 

Loki glances back at the bed after pulling half a granola bar from the fridge and sees Fenrir’s eyes wide open. Loki gives her son a soft smile and shhh’s him back to sleep. "Happy Birthday, my love. Sleep for a few more hours."

 ~~~

A sudden flashback hits Loki, a vision of intense pain and screaming. She tries to forget the pain of having to birth Fenrir alone, staring up through the skylight begging the gods to come and save her. She tries not to remember crying for her mother, father, and brother. She tries to forget wanting to die. 

What she does remember are the first cries from Fenrir as she wraps him in the cleanest blanket she had. She remembers holding him to her breast, his lips latching for the first time. She remembers thinking that he was the best thing that could ever come out of Room. For the first time since she had been kidnapped, Loki feels love. 

“Hello, Fenrir.”

 ~~~

“Ma! I’m five!”

“That you are, my love, now it’s time to rise. I’ll make breakfast.”

Loki looks to Fenrir and pours out two small bowls of cereal.

“Morning lamp, morning rug, morning wardrobe.” Fenrir greets each of the furniture in the room with a happy smile. He stops at the long string of eggshells. “Morning Eggsnake! It is my birthday!”

Loki puts the breakfast on the table and directs the boy to it without word. She quickly breaks a vitamin pill in half and gives it to him. Loki takes the other half herself, along with a contraceptive pill. Fenrir digs into his cereal quickly.

“Ow,” she winces, holding a hand to her cheek after taking a bite.

“Is Bad Tooth Hurting, Ma?”

“Mind over matter, love,” Loki responds, tapping her head.

“If we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!” Fenrir giggles. The boy digs back into his cereal, shoveling into his mouth quickly.

“Guess what we are going to make later?"

“What?”

“A cake.”

Fenrir’s mouth drops open in astonishment, they’ve never baked a cake before. “Like on TV?” 

“But for real.” Loki cannot deny that she too is excited for the cake.

~~~~

“Fenrir, teeth,” Loki directs, and the little boy grins and Loki hands them their shared toothbrush which is frayed from overuse. “Spit.”

Fenrir does into the little sink. Loki quickly brushes her teeth, carefully avoiding her bad tooth. She puts a new toothbrush on her list of things to ask for later on. She spits into the small sink and sticks the toothbrush in a little plastic cup.

“Come on slowpoke,” Loki smiles and kisses his cheek. She gestures towards the TV and Fenrir races her to their chairs. “Since it’s your birthday you get to watch your cartoons!”

A little time passes, Loki becomes bored of watching Dora the Explorer and decides the floors need to be cleaned, Thanos had tracked mud in the night before. So Loki finds herself scrubbing their dirty floors with an old cloth diaper and she cleans until her hands begin to hurt.

With a groan, Loki stands to watch the end of the episode. “Off please.”

“Just one more planet!” Fenrir begs.

Loki laughs and does a zombie impression. “Too much TV will turn us into zombies… Anyway, it’s time to mark how tall you are.”

Fenrir grins and switches off the TV in record time, running to the door frame. Loki marks his height with a tiny 5 in black pen on the cork wall. She is astonished every single day how much her baby has grown.

“I’m not very taller after four,” Fenrir remarks sadly.

“Oh, that’s pretty normal. I didn’t grow much between four and five.”

“Yeah?”

“Everything’s fine, my love.”

“Okie dokie, Ma!”

Fenrir touches the small red 3 and the black 4. That’s where Red Pen died, and they got Black Pen for Sunday Treat. “Hey what about cookies?”

“What?”

“For Sunday Treat, ask Thanos for cookies!”

“Sorry baby, I already asked for your jeans.”

Fenrir frowns in disappointment but shrugs it off quickly. He runs over to a chair and pulls it over to the wall where they mark his height. “I’m going to grow and grow till I’m this tall. A giant! Look, Ma. Look how big my superpowers are already!”

Fenrir makes a tiny bicep and Loki smiles faintly. 

“You’ll be as strong as Thor soon.” Loki hadn’t the heart to tell Fenrir of her past life, instead making up that Thor was a strong and powerful superhero. Not just the little boy’s Uncle.

“Huger every day.”

“Gigantic.”

“Enormous. Hugeormous.”

“Good word sandwich.”

Fenrir begins to jump and leaping around the room, moving gracefully between all the familiar obstacles. “I’m going to be Fenrir the Giant Giant-Killer and burst out of Skylight and into Space with my dog Rocket and boing boing boing between all the planets…”

Fenrir manages to stay busy the rest of the morning while Loki washes the dishes in the bathtub. She used to wash them in the sink, but it clogged once, she still has the scar on her arm from where she tried to unclog it. Thanos had not been happy and Loki had to stitch herself back up with a sewing kit he brought her.

A little later, Fenrir and Loki are playing ‘Track’. The rug is draped over the table on the bed. They run back and forth in the room, both training hard, like athletes. Loki misses running in an open field, misses the smell and the feel of dirt under her feet The 10 x 10 space isn't much but Loki understands the importance of exercise and continues to try and do so in Room. They run until they are both covered in a light sheen of sweat. 

The furniture is back in place now and Fenrir goes to his stack of books and pulls out one called “Dylan the Digger”. Loki can’t help but groan when Fenrir offers the book to her.

“Come on, darling, you can read Dylan yourself.”

“I can read them all, but I like when you do.”

Loki groans but takes the book, Fenrir curling up in her side. She begins the book with vigor, praying this was the last time she will ever have to read this book again but knows it won’t be. Fenrir watches the pages but doesn’t notice that Loki’s eyes are closed and she is reciting this book from memory.

“Heeeeeeere’s Dylan, the sturdy digger! The loads he shovels get bigger and bigger. Watch his long arm delve into the earth, no excavator so loves to munch dirt….”

To Fenrir, it’s as if the images come alive with magic along with Loki’s words. He watches every single page with close intensity, even though he too knows the story by heart. There are times when Ma isn’t so tired that he believes the pictures actually came off the page.

~~~

Later in the evening, Fenrir is helping Loki with the cake, blowing the second of two small eggs into the bowl, keeping the shell intact. Beating butter and sugar, Loki keeps up their rhyme game.

“Our friend Table… just isn’t able.”

Fenrir pours the eggs into the bowl of butter and sugar. “Our friend Spoon sings to the moon.”

Loki beats the eggs in.

“Our friend Knife runs for his life.” Loki winces in pain and shakes out her right wrist. Fenrir notices and takes over mixing the batter for his Ma. 

While Fenrir mixes Loki takes the egg shells and puts them on to their Eggsnake, made of eggshells that they have colored, given paper clothes, foil crowns, and colored wool for hair. Eggsnake is hundreds of eggs long. Loki secretly loves Eggsnake, it’s bright colors adding some flavor to the dull colors of Room.

After putting the cake in the small oven, it is done. The smell of the cake fills the room. Loki pulls it out and lets it cool before covering the small, brown, plain cake with white icing, making the number 5.

“Abracadabra!” 

“Now the candles!” Fenrir demands with a smile but it crumbles after seeing his Ma hesitate. “You said a birthday cake for real! That means candles on fire!”

“Fenrir-”

“You should ask for candles for Sunday treat, not dumb jeans.”

“Sorry. I have to ask for stuff we really need that he can get easily.”

“But Old Thanos gets anything, by magic.”

Loki shivers at the name but gestures towards the cake, “Try your cake, I bet it’s delicious.”

Fenrir is sulking, so she stoops down and hugs him, soothing him. 

“Next week when I’m six you better ask for real candles.”

“Next year, you mean.”

They both dig into the cake after that, only having enough room in their stomachs to eat a single piece each. Loki swears it’s the best thing she has eaten her entire time in Room, Fenrir is unconvinced. Loki puts the cake aside and hopes it stays good for a few more days.

“Bath time, Fenrir,” Loki smiles pointing to the small tub. “Want to turn the water on for me?”

Fenrir smiles and does as he is asked, making sure it stays perfectly warm. They both undress and climb in. It doesn’t take long for the tub to fill around them, the tub barely big enough for the two of them. While they soak and Loki scrubs Fenrir with a mostly used bar of soap, she begins to wave a tale of a mermaid.

“…so, she runs home to the sea,” Loki finishes her story with a sigh and reclines so her face and hair sink under the water. Fenrir sits up, upset. Loki emerges and opens her eyes. 

Fenrir looks worried. 

“Of course, she takes her Baby Fenrir with her.” 

“Does he drown?”

“No, he’s half-merman. He can breathe air or water, whichever.”

Satisfied, Fenrir leans over to scoop the pile of clothes that sit on the floor next to them. “Laundry time, Ma.”

He plunges their dirty clothes into the water and they begin washing, until Loki feels a bit of mischief come back and she tosses a wet sock at Fenrir, soon it starts a full-on war until they are both are laughing heavily, water spilling out of the tub. 

“Time to get out, help me hang the clothes,” Loki says and pulls Fenrir out, wrapping him in their small towel. They both quickly pull on underwear and t-shirts and start to hang the clothes anywhere they can. After they are finished, she sits and breastfeeds Fenrir, telling him a story of Thor when they were younger, but changes it to make the superhero come to life.

“All finished?” Loki asks and Fenrir nods. She pulls down her shirt, checking the time. “Time for bed my little merman.”

“Can we have more birthday cake?” Fenrir asks as Loki places blankets and a pillow on the floor of Wardrobe.

“Tomorrow, sweet heart.”

“Just a bite.”

“We’ve brushed our teeth already.”

“One more story then?”

Loki checks her watch and feels more nervous: getting close to nine.

“Fen, it’s late. Come on. I promise you can have cake in the morning.” Fenrir sighs but jumps in and snuggles into his blanket. Pictures and drawings of the two of them are glued on the back wall; this tiny room within Room. Loki covers him up for the night. She begins to sing ‘The Big Rock Candy Mountain’ and soon Fenrir’s eyes close and he falls asleep.

~~~

A little later, a dim light comes through the slats in the door to Wardrobe. Fenrir lies stroking the few clothes that are hanging up and the pictures glued to the wall. He freezes at the sound of the beeps that mean the outside door is about to open. Fenrir lies absolutely still, listening for Thanos’ entrance. A cold burst of wind comes in when Door opens.

Boom.

The door is shut.

“Hey,” says Thanos, his voice rough.

“Hello,” Loki greets, her tone neutral.

Fenrir sits up a bit to squint through the slats but only see’s enough of the man’s jacket as he takes it off.

Thanos thrusts a bag at Loki. “Here are his jeans. The grapes were way too much, so I got canned pears.”

Loki begins putting groceries away. “Thanks.”

Thanos opens the fridge and pulls out the tiny cake. “What’s this? A birthday cake?” He cuts himself a slice and eats it quickly. Loki doesn’t comment. She isn’t looking for a fight tonight. “You should have told me, I’d have brought him a present.”

Fenrir’s eyes light up at the possibility of a present.

Thanos begins undressing, “What’s he now, four?”

Fenrir waits for Ma to correct him but when she doesn’t, Fenrir whispers too low to be heard. “Five.”

Loki and Thanos get into bed, the lamp clicking off. Then the familiar creaks of the bed begin, and Fenrir doesn’t understand what they mean. He counts them under his breath.

“One, two, three, four…”

There’s Room, then Outer Space, then Heaven. Plant is real but not trees. Spiders are real and one time the mosquito that was sucking my blood. But squirrels and dogs are just TV, except Rocket, my dog that might be some day. Mountains are too big to be real and the sea…

“One twenty-eight, one twenty-nine…”

“TV persons are flat and made of colors with red mouths and clothes instead of skin but me and you are real. Old Thanos, I don’t know if he’s real, maybe half? Green beans are real and chocolate but not ice cream…

“Three hundred six, seven, eight…”

A grunt is heard from Thanos. The creaking of the bed is done. Fenrir feels himself fall into the comforting arms of sleep.

Thanos turns on the TV to the sports channel. 

“Shh,” Loki whispers and Thanos turns down the volume. Later, the sports broadcast covers up the sound of the door closing, the L.E.D numbers lit up on the keypad. 

Loki quietly walks over to wardrobe and opens it, glad to see her baby completely asleep. She carefully picks him up and sets him in bed, sliding in and settling beside him. A few of her tears fall into his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on Tumblr here: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	2. Curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Fenrir starts to become more curious about things and Thanos reveals something that frightens Loki.

Loki is using a needle and thread to take in Fenrir’s new, much too-large jeans. Fenrir finds a cigarette butt under the corner of the rug and Fenrir studies it. Thanos must have tracked it in on his boot the night before.

“Cheap piece of…” Loki growls, referring to the jeans. “Throw that away please.”

Fenrir sighs and tosses the butt into the trash, spotting their dead plant. 

“Why Plant doesn’t make flowers anymore?” Fenrir asks, staring at the dead leaves.

Loki shakes her head; the plant had stressed her out even more, so she quit watering it. Fenrir doesn’t need to know this. So, she lies. “Maybe she’s tired.”

He nods and accepts this as an answer, and suddenly a burst of energy hits him causing Fenrir to wiggle, squirm, twist, and bounce on the bed with intense boyish energy. Beside the bed he runs on the same spot at maximum speed. Loki is has given up for now on the pants and is making a sandwich cutting in in half to share with the boy who was still bouncing all over the room for breakfast. It isn’t much, a single piece of bread with a small bit of peanut butter. 

Later, Loki naps while Fenrir plays on the floor. Counting stains on the roof, tracing the patterns of Rug with his finger. His head pops up as he spots something moving. He stares at the floor near the stove.

Fenrir tiptoes over, but the moving thing is gone. He looks furtively at Ma and then takes the cake out of the fridge. He crumbles some and sets the plate on the floor. He squats and waits. Then, a mouse puts its nose out, sniffs and takes a crumb. Fenrir reaches out a hand but then something smashes into the stove: one of Ma’s heavy books. 

Fenrir cries out. “You made him gone! He was an alive thing, he was real!”

Loki begins to sweep up the crumbs. 

“They’d steal our food,” Loki responds as she crawls under the counter, finding the hole. She stuffs it quickly with aluminum foil. She curses herself for not seeing it earlier.

“Mouse can have my food, I’m not hungry.”

“They’d bring in germs, bite us in the night.”

“Mouse is my friend and you splatted him dead.”

“No, I didn’t, he’s still alive. There is no need to worry,” Loki stops plugging the hole, crawls out, and hugs Fenrir close to her. She hadn’t meant to scare him but if that mouse had bit him, she doesn’t know if they could have gotten medicine quick enough.

“Are you just tricking me?”

“I swear he’s safe at home with his Ma in the backyard.”

“What backyard?” Fenrir asks, curiosity in his voice. 

Loki stands realizing her slip and begins tidying instead of answering, picking up her book and placing it back with the others. She shoves the cake back into the fridge.

“Mouse lives in a yard in TV?”

Loki holds up the aluminum foil to distract him, “Let’s make a UFO with this.”

Fenrir grumbles, angry that she won’t answer him and brings out the other grudge he’s been nursing. 

“Why didn’t you tell Thanos it was my birthday?”

“Because he’s not our friend.”

“He said he’d bring me a present.”

“You shouldn’t hear what he - You’re meant to be asleep.”

“I never had a present.”

“He didn’t mean it.”

“It might be Rocket my dog.”

“Fenrir, we can’t have a dog. We don’t have room- “Fenrir crinkles his brows, confused, “-space, enough space - cooped up in here with the barking, the scratching…” Loki gestures to the small space.

“Rocket won’t scratch! He promises.” Fenrir pleads with his mother.

Loki breaks, a moment of weakness and shouts. “There is no Rocket!”

“Yeah there is!”

“He’s just made-up, in your head, he’s not real.”

Fenrir bursts into tears, so Loki sits next to him and strokes his head. They do not comment on their argument... Later they sit watching TV, stringing eggshells onto Eggsnake. Loki lets out a yawn and discreetly rubs her aching jaw.

“Ma, where are we when we’re asleep?”

“Right here in Room.”

“But dreams. Do we go into TV for dreaming?”

“We’re never anywhere but here,” she whispers, a harsh reality that she tries to brush off.

“I want some,” Fenrir gestures at his shirt and Loki relents so he can breastfeed.

That night, Fenrir is in Wardrobe again, his voice calling out from beyond the closed doors. “Ma! I think Thanos lives in TV, like Mouse. That’s where he goes when he’s not here in Room.”

“Go to sleep, Fen.”

“I love you, Ma.”

“I love you too.”

Sleep comes to him quickly.

~~~

The next morning, Fenrir wakes up in bed and feels the bed next to him, no Ma. 

Loki is up already, sitting at the table, staring at a shiny red truck and remote in a hard pack. Fenrir can hardly believe what’s in front of him. He only looks at it for a while. His fingers itch to touch it so he looks up at Loki, his eyes pleading and begging with her. She doesn't want to give it to him, wants to throw it back in the assholes face but she relents.

“You can open it.” Fenrir digs into the box and Loki tries to help him when he finds the packaging difficult.

Fenrir pulls it away from Loki. “I can do it.” Fenrir finally gets it open and begins to play. Loki watches uneasily, she had tried to convince Thanos to take the truck back. She didn’t want Fenrir to think that Thanos would comply to his every whim or for him to become angry at her if she said no.

He plays with the truck the rest of the day, almost driving Loki insane.

“Fenrir quit hitting me,” Loki growls as the truck bumps into her chair for about the 80th time. “Keep doing that and it’s going on High Shelf.”

“Sorry Ma,” the boy says and finally turns the truck to bump it into something else. The wall.

~~~

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Loki is standing on a chair screaming and howling at the Skylight. Fenrir stands in the bath screaming into the small air vent above the shelf. He holds his truck up to the vent, so it can join in. Then they hush and listen.

“Why the aliens never scream back?”

“I guess they still can’t hear us.”

“Tomorrow we’ll do even louderer.”

It was a small tradition Loki had started when Fenrir was old enough, thinking that if she could scream loud enough someone could hear. Loki had explained that they needed to get the attention of the aliens outside. 

Later, Loki is preoccupied with her thoughts, but trims mold off cheese she slices very thin and lays on brown bread. She slides it into the small toaster oven. Fenrir zigzags his truck around chair and table legs. Loki looks to see if the frozen peas are boiling yet. Fenrir drives the truck at the door and it hits with a loud clang, distracting her.

“Fenrir!”

“What smells bad?”

Loki belatedly realizes the grilled cheese is smoking. She burns her hand slightly on the oven, wrenching it open. She sighs when she sees that the bread is burnt, they don’t have enough for her to start over, so she eats the burnt bread anyway, Fenrir rejects it with a scrunched-up nose.

~~~~

Fenrir, again, is in the wardrobe, meant to be asleep but he’s still playing with his truck. The door beeps; he kneels up for a glimpse as it shuts.

“What’s that smell, Loki?”

“Sorry, I burned some cheese.”

“You need to take more care.”

“I will. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, well, thinking isn't your strong suit.”

Loki begins unpacking the groceries. “I know. I’m really sorry.”

“Did he like his truck?” Thanos asks and then laughs at his discomfort that appears on Loki’s face. “I know boys, I was one once.”

Loki looks at the empty bag. “The vitamins?”

“Waste of money.”

“If we had a better diet, maybe it would be, but he needs those, we need them” Loki argues.

“Here we go again. You know instead of complaining maybe you should thank your lucky stars you’ve got a place like this. Cozy, safe, especially with the kid - no drunk drivers, drug-pushers, perverts-”

Loki cuts him off, too tired and hungry to argue. “I’m sorry.’

“It’s like pulling teeth sometimes. Your problem is you have no idea about the world of today.”

“No.”

“Who pays the power bills? Who pays for everything?”

“You.”

“And where do you think the money’s going to keep coming from?”

“What do you mean?” Loki freezes. 

“Nothing.”

“No, but-”

“Six months I’ve been laid off, have you had to worry your little head?” Thanos snaps at her.

Loki gasps, dropping a can of beans on the floor but proceeds cautiously.

“What are you going to do?”

No answer.

“Are you looking for another job?”

“What job? There are no damn jobs, Jesus Christ!”

Fenrir becomes frightened and shrinks back into the wardrobe, knocking into the back panel.

Thanos turns his attention to the wardrobe. “Hey in there.”

Loki steps in front of him. “He’s asleep.”

“Don’t think so. You keep him in the closet all day as well as all night? Poor little freak has two heads or something?” Thanos digs in his pocket and pulls out an old tube of hard candy, stepping around her. “Hey Fenrir. You like candy? Wanna come out and have some candy?”

Fenrir reaches out for the door, tempted. His mouth waters.

Desperate for Thanos to become distracted, Loki touches his arm. She gives him her best smile and pulls on his arm when Thanos hesitates. “Let’s go to bed. Now.”

“Didn’t your Momma ever teach you manners?” Thanos barks at her.

“Please?”

Thanos pockets the old candy and wraps himself around Loki, pulling her close by way of her long, black hair. Loki knows it is going to be a long night and she doubts she will get much sleep. Thanos draws it out, making Loki pay for “seducing” him into bed. She can barely breathe from underneath him.

~~~

Fenrir wakes up and everything is quiet, moonlight still seeps through Skylight. He wakes with a jump, a bad dream. He whimpers but Ma doesn’t come. He sits up and rubs his neck. Finds his truck and pulls it close. He opens the door and peeks out. Thanos is still here. The candy he mentioned earlier is enough to pull him out of Wardrobe. He stumbles into something, a belt. Fenrir takes a few more steps and stubs his toe on a huge boot. Fenrir stares at Thanos, asleep in the middle of the bed. Ma is sleeping too, clinging to the far side of the bed. Fenrir has forgotten the candy, fascinated by Thanos, whom he’s seeing for the very first time up close. Fenrir puts his finger out, almost touching the man’s face. Thanos’ eyes open. A grin crosses the man’s face.

“Hey sonny.”

Loki then screeches, flailing at Thanos, scrambling on top of him to try and hold him down. “Get away from him! Get away!”

Fenrir isn’t sure if she is telling him to get away or to warn Thanos not to touch him. Fenrir drops the truck and races towards the wardrobe. He jumps in and pulls the door shut, banging his head. He clutches his head, curled up in the corner, because it hurts and to shut out Ma’s screaming.

“Don’t you dare touch him! He’s mine!”

“Stop that noise, bitch!”

Ma is suddenly muted, Thanos’ giant hand wrapped around her throat. She claws at his hand with all the energy she can muster and kicks at him with her legs. At the sound of the thump of Thanos throwing her down on the bed Fenrir flinches and turns his face away from the light. He curls into the corner and hopes Thanos leaves. 

“Of all the crazy…” Fenrir hears Thanos pulling on his clothes angrily.

“Just leave him alone,” Ma’s hoarse voice comes out, as if she had just gained her breath back, her hands guarding her throat. 

The door makes three beeps.

“Just don’t forget where you got him.”

Loki gives a loud sob. 

The door opens, then shuts with a boom. Fenrir waits to hear what Ma will do or say to him. The lamp clicks off again. He dives out of the wardrobe. “Sorry I - Sorry - Sorry” he sobs and hyperventilates by the side of the bed. “Sorry I came out of Wardrobe.”

Loki pulls Fenrir into bed, whispering because it’s all she can manage. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter and want to see more, just add a kudos or leave a comment! I really appreciate it! I think I might post a chapter a day but since the weekend is here, I might do more.
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	3. The Cold Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Things are about to start happening. The truth is being discovered. I know it may seem like all they do is sleep but people in situations like this tend to sleep to pass the time.

The next morning Fenrir wakes, shivering and snuggling closer to his mother, surrounding himself in her warmth. He is astonished by the purple bruises around Ma’s throat. As if Ma feels his gaze, Loki wakes and musters a smile. Fenrir notices the white clouds of their breath in the air.

“Ma, we’re dragons.”

Loki sits up and registers the chill. She can clearly see her breath in the air so she gets up out of bed and turns on the lamp, no light. Fenrir is crushed to find the Jeep lying slightly crushed, one wheel snapped off.

Loki opens the refrigerator: dark inside. She’s appalled.

“He’s cut the power.” She glances at the keypad: the little red light is out. With a wild, illogical hope, she hurls herself at the door and claws at its edges - but it’s still locked. Fenrir watches bewildered, he’s never seen her try to open it.

“Open you son of a bitch! Open!” Loki whimpers, hitting her hand against the door again and again. She rests her forehead against the unmoving door and allows herself a moment to cry. Fenrir lies in bed, completely under the covers frightened at Ma’s outburst. 

Loki shivers and realizes that they need to put on warmer clothes than the ones they are in currently. She wipes her face of the tears and puts on her bravest look, turning to face her baby who is wrapped in their blankets. 

“Fenrir come,” she says, and he follows her to wardrobe.

“Ma… I’m so cold…”

“I know baby, here,” she starts handing them all of their clothes they own, which isn’t a lot. Fenrir is clothed in at least six ratty t-shirts and a few of her own long sleeve shirts. She puts him in his shorts and then the big jeans over them. “Go climb back under the covers while I get dressed.”

She pulls on the rest of her clothes, leaving nothing but hangers in the wardrobe. She is starting to not feel her toes anymore, so she slips on one the few pairs of socks they have left, leaving the rest to put on Fenrir.

Later in the day, Fenrir is at the table reading to his injured truck from Alice and Wonderland. 

“For, you see, so many out-of-the way things had happened lat-ely-”

“Lately.”

“-lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.”

Loki comes to the table and doles out half-thawed green beans from a freezer bag onto one of the plates. “Lunch, my love.”

“No thanks.”

“We have to use them up before they rot. Once we eat we’ll feel warmer.”

Fenrir makes himself chew a limp bean. Loki nibbles a few, with a show of enthusiasm. Fenrir looks at his three-wheeled truck. “When’s Thanos going to put the power back?”

“Soon.”

“When’s soon?”

“Once he’s not mad with me anymore.”

Fenrir watches the bruises on Loki’s throat move. He hates that he was the one that he caused pain for his Ma. 

“I hope he never comes back not ever.”

“Fenrir. Think about it. You know if he never comes back you and I will be stuck. We will get nothing.”

“No Sunday treat?”

“No anything. No food.”

Fenrir tries the bean again - then spits it out quietly. Loki watches him, kisses him, forces herself to begin telling him the truth. The nasty, ugly truth she’s been hiding from him for so long, she feels ashamed of herself. But now, she has reason, Thanos is running out of money and the man would rather let them starve than release them. She would love to keep him innocent and hers forever, but he needs to experience life as she had, not rotting away in a stupid garden shed in the backyard of a monster’s house. She needs to find a way to get Fenrir out, but she can’t do that unless her baby understands the world around them. 

“Hey Fenrir. Remember the mouse?”

“My friend Mouse?”

“You know where he is right now?”

Fenrir looks all around Room.

“On the other side of this wall,” Loki said, patting the wall behind the stove.

Fenrir stares at the wall hard, not understanding. “What other side?”

“Oh Fen, everything has two sides.”

“Not an octagon.”

“No, that’s-”

“An octagon has eight.”

Loki holds his hand up flat. “But a wall is like this. And we’re on the inside, in Room, and Mouse is on the outside, see?”

“In Outer Space?”

“No, in the world. It’s much closer than Outer Space,” she demonstrates the distance with his hands, desperate for him to understand.

“I don’t see any outside side. I just see wall.”

“But if we were outside in the world, we would, we’d be looking at the other side of the wall, and Mouse lying in the grass with his Ma. We’d see trees and cars and-”

“Grass is just TV, Ma.”

“Is it, though? You know when Door opens, and the air comes in, the air that smells fresher - that’s grass. Grass is one of the best smells and it feels so good underneath your feet.”

Fenrir tries to laugh. “You can’t smell TV.”

“But it’s not TV. It’s the real world we smell. You’re so smart, I know you’ve started wondering. Your mind is growing and that makes you want to know more.”

Fenrir shakes his head.

“Where do you think Thanos gets our food?”

“From TV by magic.”

“There’s no magic! Everything we see on TV - it’s pictures of real stuff and real people in the world.”

“Dora’s real for real?”

“No, sorry, not Dora, she’s just a picture, but the other ones, with faces like ours - and there’s real streets and oceans, dogs, cats-”

“No way. Where would they all fit?”

“Just out there, in the world. It’s so big and open. The world isn’t just Room, it can’t be.”

Fenrir grows tired of this and changes the subject.

“Can I have a sandwich?”

Controlling his exasperation, Loki gets out a half slice of bread and adds a rationed scraping of peanut butter. She sets down his food and he comes to the table to eat it. Loki stands with her hands under her armpits to warm them. She stares around trying to find proof. She looks up to the skylight. A single leaf. From a tree. Outside.

“Look! A leaf!”

“Where?”

“On Skylight.”

She climbs up on a chair and lifts Fenrir onto her shoulders, so he can see. His head is so close to the recessed skylight. He looks at a brown, sodden half-rotted leaf.

“Dumbo Ma. That’s not a leaf. Leaves are green.”

“On the trees they are but when they fall they rot, like salad, in the fridge, they-”

“Where’s all the stuff you said? Trees and dogs and-”

“Well, we can’t see them from here because the skylight looks upwards, instead of sideways.”

Fenrir struggles to get down, nearly toppling them off the chair. “You’re just tricking me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Liar, liar pants on fire!”

“Fenrir, I couldn’t explain before you were too small to understand, so… I had to make up a story. But now - it’s the opposite of lying, I’m unlying, because now you’re five I think you can understand about the world, you must understand,” Loki pleads with her son, who shakes his head in resistance. Refusing to hear another word or even think about it. “Fenrir-”

“I want to be four again!”

They face each other, standing with the table between them. Loki musters the energy to try again, telling him her own story this time. She picks up Fenrir’s copy of Alice in Wonderland. She holds it out, pointing at the cover.

“You know how Alice wasn’t always in Wonderland?”

“She fell down down down the hole.”

“Well, I’m like Alice. I wasn’t always in Room.”

A heavy silence falls over them, as Fenrir absorbs this. He doesn’t move.

“I used to be a little girl called Loki. I lived- “

“No!”

“I lived in a house out in the world,” she taps on the wall, “with my mother, father, and brother. You’d call them Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Thor.”

“What house?”

“The house where we lived, with a hammock in the backyard. We used to swing in the hammock and eat ice cream.”

“A TV house?”

“It’s not TV, Fenrir. Are you listening?” No answer. “And then I was nearly grown up, I was seventeen, I was walking to school and - “

“Where was I?”

“Still up in heaven. So, this guy ran up to me saying his - “

“What guy?”

“We call him Thanos, but I don’t know his real name. He pretended his dog was sick, he seemed really-”

“What was the dog's name?”

“There was no dog. It was just a trick to get me into his truck. Thanos stole me.”

“I want a different story.”

“You need to hear this one. He put me in his garden shed.”

“Where?”

“Here. Room’s the shed. He’s the only one with the code - secret numbers to open the door. I’ve been locked in here for seven years. Do you understand?”

Fenrir has had enough, “This story’s boring.”

Loki is exhausted, “Fenrir, the world. You wouldn’t believe how big it is. Room’s only a tiny, stinky piece of it.”

“Room’s not stinky. Only when you do a fart.”

Loki sits down. She doesn’t look at Fenrir.

“Ok.”

“I don’t believe in your stinky world.”

Loki is bitter, not looking at him. “Fine. That’s fine Fenrir. I can’t make you understand. Just go and..."

After a long, miserable pause, Loki stands faces away from her son. Fenrir, angry and upset, watches Loki for a long time then sits down on the floor and takes out his toys from under the TV. He plays quietly. Loki looks up at the skylight. As she watches, a gust of wind blows the leaf away. Later, they both lie in bed under the duvet in their clothes, shuddering with cold. Fenrir tries the lamp. Nothing. He fixes the dents in the shade then lies back down. A terrible flatness in the air. Ma is turned away from Fenrir. She has been crying.

~~~

The next morning, Fenrir is the first to wake. It is warm again. Loki pulls the pillow over her head. It’s one of her Gone Days, he sighs. Gone Days are the worst days.

Fenrir gets up and makes himself cereal, watching Dora with the sound very low. After an episode or two and his bowl is empty beside him, Fenrir creeps up to the bed and studies what he can see of her bruises, which are a dark purple-black color today. He tries to read the time, but the angle makes it hard. He tries switching Ma on with the remote.

“On.” Nothing. “On.” He gives up. 

Later, he plays chess, a fun game that Ma taught him, against his truck. He wins, several times which kind of is boring. Fenrir kicks a shriveled red balloon to keep it in the air. Later skylight is cloudy, and Fenrir watches the clouds move as he nibbles a bagel. Later he gives a tour of his domain, his friends.

“Eggnsnake’s our longest friend and fanciest. Meltedy Spoon’s the best to eat with because he’s more blobbier. Labyrinth is the twistiest and she hides things, so I don’t know where. Toilet’s the best at disappearing poo. Lamp’s the brightest except when the powercut,” Fenrir glances at his Ma. “You are the best at reading and songs and lots except if you’re having a Gone Day. I’m the best at drawing and jumping and growing and nearly everything!”

Fenrir examines the trucks broken axle now. He yanks on another wheel until it snaps off. Then the last two. He twists the doors off. He throws the remains of the truck to the ground several times, other plastic parts flying off with each hit. Stuffs the truck, its parts, and remote in the trash.

Light fading, Fenrir lies beside Ma, longing to breastfeed. Lifts the edge of her t-shirt for a second but leaves it alone. He doesn’t dare, Ma needs sleep, and this would just wake her up. He sits up, rests his hand on the bump of Ma’s foot. He falls asleep wrapped around her legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 will come most likely tomorrow but just keep leaving kudos and comments. It makes me smile to know that people actually like what I'm putting out. Tomorrow might see chapter 5 as well. We shall see.
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	4. Chance at Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 here we go! This chapter was a hard one so I hope you enjoy it.

The next day, Loki is back up and active around Room and she watches Fen chomp down on a granola bar as she picks up an apple from counter.

“Would you like a bite, my love?”

Fenrir nods and she slices a piece off for him with a knife, he eats it with a happy hum.

Loki bites in to her slice and winces. She reaches into her mouth and pulls something out. “Ah, finally. I was beginning to wonder.”

Fenrir stands in his chair, so he can see what his mum is holding. “Bad Tooth? Can I have it?”

At first Loki wants to throw it away but shrugs, “Sure, if you want it.”

Later, he is watching nature documentary while Loki cleans up from breakfast. He watches fascinated as baby snakes emerge from shells, poking their small heads out. Loki is tying up the trash bag and finds the discarded truck and realizes that Fenrir has destroyed it. She gives a small smile and puts the full bag of trash next to the door.

“Are snakes real?”

Loki’s head shoots up: this is the first time that he’s attempted to believe her about the world since the argument. She quickly runs to the couch, sliding next to him.

“Totally real. I had a pet snake. He was so cool, he was a green tree python. I named him Jormungandr. He was as long as you are tall.”

Fenrir’s eyes are wide, and he hangs on his mother’s every word. The light coming back to her eyes as she describes the snake.

“Your Uncle Thor gave him to me for my 16th birthday. He went everywhere with me, Grandpa didn’t care for that much but-”

On the TV: “We now see the cheetahs prepare their young for their first hunt, meanwhile the lions are settling down for a long nap.”

“Lions and cheetahs-”

“They’re all real, Fenrir.”

He is even more curious now and switches the channel to a 1970s British sitcom, Are You Being Served?

“Real?”

“Ah, they’re real people playing dress-up, pretending to be people who work in a department store. But nonetheless, those are real people.”

Fenrir is puzzled by that, so he switches channels to Tom and Jerry.

“Just TV?”

“You’re getting it! I’m so, so proud of you baby!”

Fenrir watches the slapstick violence with relish, giggling.

“When Thanos comes back, I’m going to beat him up.”

This totally demolishes Loki’s mood, and she marches over and shuts off the TV. “We can never do that, Fenrir. One night I tried to hurt Thanos. I stood behind door with the lid of the toilet tank.”

Fenrir glances over at the toilet, confused because the white toilet sits with the water tank exposed. It had always been that way, or so he thought. “What lid?”

“It used to have a lid, it was the heaviest thing in Room. When he came in I tried to smash it down on his head. But I messed up, Fenrir. He shoved the door shut and grabbed me by the wrist - that’s why it’s sore now.”

There is a pause in the room, the silence heavy.

“We could wait till he’s asleep and kill him dead.”

She sighs, she has thought this too. Like mother, like son, she guesses. “Yes, we could but then we’d have no more food - and we wouldn’t know the code, on the door, to get out.”

“The Grandma and the Grandpa and the Uncle Thor could come, you said Thor was a superhero with superpowers! He could smash Thanos!”

“They don’t know where we are, Fenrir. Room’s not on any map. That’s why we haven’t been found already.”

This hurts and is a hard truth to realize. Fenrir’s eyes slide to the blank screen, “Can I have more TV?”

“Fenrir, I want you to listen to me!” He looks up, his Ma looks like she is thinking, contemplating something. “You’re old enough now and we can’t wait any longer… Fenrir you are going to help me trick Thanos like Jack in the stories is always tricking the giant after he climbs the beanstalk. Okay?”

~~~

A little later, water boils in a pot on the stove, Fenrir lies in bed. Loki has him wrapped in blankets as she explains what is going to happen.

“I’m going to make your face so scorching hot that Thanos will take you to the hospital, and the minute you get there you’ll tell the doctors, ‘Help! Police!’”

“You can tell it,” Fenrir says defiantly.

“I’ll write you a note to give them.”

“You can give it to them.”

“I won’t be in the hospital, I’ll be here,” she explains sadly. “You have to go and do this. Thanos won’t let me out, people will know who I am and it’s too big of a risk for him.”

Fenrir jumps up, rigid with panic, clinging to Loki. “No. No. I don’t want to leave.”

“It’ll be okay, my heart.”

“I want you to go!”

“He won’t take us both. You’ll go first, just to the hospital, so you can tell the police, and then…” her conviction falters at this point, but she fakes it. “Then you’ll come rescue me. You’ll come get me and we will live out in the world. Together.”

Fenrir shakes his head, covering his ears.

Loki crouches down, pulling his hands away from his ears so he can hear her words. She needs to convince Fenrir. She fears it’s his only shot. Her only shot to get him out. “We’ll be free. Go on hikes, see all the birds. Ride in cars and trains and planes. I’ll teach you how to swim in a pool and then maybe the ocean. We’ll have friends. And a dog - we’ll call him Rocket. A party with a cake and so many candles.”

“Maybe next year when I’m six. Or maybe when I’m seven?”

“Tonight.”

Fenrir starts shaking his head frantically, crying.

“It has to be tonight.”

Fenrir flees to the wardrobe, trying to shut himself in. “No!!”

“Listen to me Fen,” she says stopping the door from shutting. “I’m going to tell him the powercut made you so cold, you got sick. We might not get another chance. It’s a miracle he didn’t come last night.”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’m your Ma. Sometimes I have to pick for both of us,” slowly she pulls until his small hands release the door. “Okay, I choose this time. I would do this if I could, but I can’t. You can. Go get back in bed.”

Later, Fenrir winces, his face red. Loki holds a cloth wrung out with hot water over his forehead.

“Ow!”

“You need to feel hot when he touches you. I know it hurts but you have to be strong for me.”

Fenrir begins to cry at the prospect. Loki strokes him as she presses the rag to his forehead. “Crying is good, it makes you look sicker. It makes your face look red.” She moves the bag to each cheek in turn. “And stay floppy, remember. You’re too weak to move or say a word. If he tries to talk to you, you say nothing okay? Only talk to the people at the hospital.”

Quickly, she shoves her fingers down her throat to make her retch.

“Ma, what are you doing?”

Loki manages to vomit a little and she rubs it on the pillow beside Fenrir, which horrifies him, he tries to scoot away but Loki stills him.

“It will make you smell sick, another trick okay?” She checks her watch again and presses the cloth to his face again. “Remember when you get to the hospital you give them the note. Show me how you hold it out.”

Fenrir fumbles in his pocket for the edge of the note. Something falls out with it.

“What’s that?” Loki picks it up. Her bad tooth. She smiles and puts it in the opposite pocket as the note, that way he won’t lose it. “See that’s a bit of me you have with you all the time. I’ll always be with you as long as you have that.”

“I’m scared,” Fenrir whimpers and Loki strokes his face.

“I know. Me too.”

Suddenly the door beeps, startling them both. Loki shoves the wet rag and the pot of hot water under the bed. Fenrir hides his face in the pillow, goes limp. The door opens and Thanos steps in with a grocery bag.

“There you are! Where have you been?” Loki yells at the man.

Thanos scowls and slams the door shut. “You know the drill: not a peep out of you till the door is shut.”

“Sorry, just - Fenrir’s sick, I’m worried about him.”

Thanos puts down the groceries, grimacing at the smell of the vomit.

“It was so cold, and we didn’t have enough clothes.”

“You brought that on yourself. You should have thought about the consequences before you dug your nails into my face.”

“I couldn’t keep him warm, and now he’s burning. He’s been vomiting all day, he’s so weak.”

“Give him one of those painkillers I gave you.”

“I’ve tried, he pukes them back up. I don’t know what to do…”

Thanos comes up close to Fenrir. His hand stretched out.

“Don’t-”

He elbows Loki out of the way and lays his hand across Fenrir’s forehead, who lets out a whimper of fear that passes for pain. “I’ll get him something stronger.”

“He’s only five! He’s dehydrated and with a temperature this high, he could go into convulsions any minute!”

“Shut up and let me think!” Thanos holds up a hand and Fenrir doesn’t miss the way it makes Loki flinch.

“He needs antibiotics, please.”

“I’ll bring something tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night? You have to take him to the ER right now,” she sobs.

“Enough with the hysterics.”

“I’m begging you. Please!”

Thanos taps the code into the keypad, hiding his hand. Loki clings to him begging, tears streaming down her face.

“If you’re even halfway human-”

As the door opens he thrusts Loki away and she stumbles. When the door booms shut, Fenrir lifts his head. Their trick didn’t work… and he’s relieved. Loki is crumpled against the wall where she fell.

Later, he sleeps sweetly and peacefully in Loki’s arms in bed.

Loki just stares into the darkness, her mind void and empty.

~~~

The next morning, Fenrir is eating his cereal cheerfully. Loki hasn’t touched hers in the slightest but she's been rambling on for a little while.

“So, Edmond pulls his friend’s body out of the bag and hides it, and he climbs into the bag, and lies super still until the guards come,” Loki recites and Fenrir nods along to the story. “And that’s what you’re going to do.”

Fenrir stops eating.

“See? It’s even tricksier than pretending to be sick: this time you’re going to be dead.”

Fenrir looks over at the folded paper bags and sighs in relief, “Our bags are too small for being dead in.”

Loki stands and shoves the table and chairs away to one side.

“Is it time for Track?”

Loki starts hauling up the rug, testing how it bends, “Rug is going to be the bag, see?”

“I don’t want to be dead.”

“Pretending to be dead, that’s all. Wrapped up so Thanos can’t see that you’re alive. But not floppy this time. All stiff like a robot. And not a sound. And I’ll be in your head, talking to you all the time,” she taps Fenrir’s head. “He’s going to carry you outside, all rolled up in rug, and he’ll put you in the back of his pick-up and drive somewhere to bury you-”

“No!”

Loki shushes him, petting his hair. “It’s okay. You’ll wiggle free and jump out of the truck. You’ll-”

“I don’t like this trick. It’s scary and mean.”

“Come on, Fen, let’s try rolling you up. Lie down for me.”

“Uh uh”

“Please Fenrir, try just for a minute.”

“Half a minute.”

“Okay.”

Fenrir lays down on the rug, and Loki rolls him up.

“Can you hear me, baby? Can you breathe?”

“Yes, Ma.”

“Excellent! He’ll pick you up - stay as stiff as you can,” Loki explains, and Fenrir holds himself rigid as Loki picks him up. “Then he’ll put you in his truck.” Loki sets him down awkwardly and Fenrir bites his lip but stays quiet. “The second you hear the engine-” She makes engine noises and shakes him, “that means Thanos’ busy driving, so that’s your chance to start wriggling out. Now, Fen. Wriggle out.”

Fenrir cries out, “I can’t! I’m stuck!”

“Remember your superpowers, baby.”

Fenrir cries even harder and Loki unrolls him fast and brings him to her chest. His harsh breathing shakes her entire body. “You are okay, my love. That was just too many turns. Up. Up. We will try again. I’ll fold it over like this.”

She quickly folds the end of the rug to make it narrower. “Now lie down and fold your arms like this.” She folds Fenrir’s arm across his chest, elbows sticking out. “Like a mummy.”

Loki rolls Fenrir up again. “There, now push up your arms.”

“I can’t.”

“Push, Fenrir,” and his elbows scrape through and his fingers clasp Loki’s. “Now roll.”

Fenrir makes a feeble try, barely moves. He is panting and sobbing from inside the rug.

“Take a breath, Fenrir. You are doing so well.”

“Get me out!”

“You are getting yourself out, darling.”

“Out!”

“If you panic, Thanos will hear that you’re alive and he’ll be very mad.” Fenrir groans. “I know you, Fenrir. I know you can do this for me, for us.”

Fenrir clenches his teeth and starts to writhe and roll side to side. He rolls face down, and gets his butt slightly in the air, bending the cylinder of the rug. He rolls the other way, sits up: the rug opens. He claws his way out, his face red and smeared. Loki is looking almost as distraught as him, but she grins.

“You did it! Oh, my love. You did it.”

“I hate you.” Fenrir screams at her, his body heaving in anger.

Loki gasps, it’s the first time he’s ever said it. Loki pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his head repeatedly.

“That’s okay. You can hate me, I understand. I brought you here to Room. I didn’t mean to, but I did, and I’ve always been so glad to have you. And now it’s my job to get you out. I don’t care if it’s the last thing I ever do. I am going to get you out.”

~~~

Fenrir has been lying half rolled in the rug. They had rehearsed him rolling out of the rug several times but now he rests. Loki crouches next to him drilling him in the plan.

Fenrir recites. “Truck, wriggle out, jump, run-”

“Wait till the truck slows down at the first stop sign - if you jump when it’s going fast you might-” she stops talking so as not to cry. She checks her watch. She stares at the door as if she can will it to open so they can run free. So, she doesn’t have to let go of him. “So, truck, wriggle out, jump when it slows down…”

“Somebody, run-”

“Jump, run, then shout to somebody and show them the note. Tell them your Ma is Loki Odinson and-”

“Who is somebody?”

“Anybody - the first person you see.”

“An actual real person?”

Loki nods, worried about his lingering confusion.

“What if Thanos unwraps me?”

“He’s not going to-” Loki falters and puts her head in her hands. She collects herself. “You got Bad Tooth in your pocket?”

Fenrir points to his cheek, “It’s in here so I don’t lose it.”

Loki smiles and kisses his forehead. “You’re going to love it.”

“What?”

“The world. Living in the hammock house with your Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Thor.”

“And you.”

Loki nods, trying not to convey any of her doubt. If this works, she doesn't know how Thanos will react once he finds out. “I love you so much. Don’t forget that Fenrir.”

“Can you sing?”

Loki sits back up into position, kneeling next to the rug. She begins to sing and takes in every single detail of her little boy’s face, his dimples and his eyes that hold so much innocence and life. She knows she more than likely she will never see him again. Her heart breaks one more time. She wills herself to pull a lullaby that Frigga had sung to herself and Thor when they were little.

“Kongen kan synge i sitt bittere fly, Træret kan croon til vintreet i kveld, men den lille snøfnuggen på brystet mitt. Som sangen jeg synger best, - sov, sov, liten en, sov; Trøtt du er, mitt hjerte. Søvn, liten,-”

The door beeps and Loki rolls Fenrir up, very fast. “I love you, Fenrir.”

One last whisper. “I love you, Ma.”

Thanos steps in the room, proud of himself. A proud smile adorns his face. “Antibiotics.” The door shuts with a boom. “Are you nuts, wrapping a sick kid up in the that?”

Ma’s voice is very close because she’s bent over the rug. “He got worse in the night.”

Loki waits, giving time for Thanos to figure it out. Fenrir lays perfectly still in the rug, waiting.

“He wouldn’t wake up.”

“Are you sure?”

Loki screams, letting seven years of frustration and rage out. “Am I sure? Why would I even joke about that? You bastard!”

“Oh gee. That’s - poor girl. Guess it must have been serious, pills wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“You killed my baby!!” Loki screeches, flinging herself over the rug. Fenrir wills himself to not flinch at the sudden weight that is on him.

“Take it easy. Let me-” As the man reaches for the rug, Loki slaps his hand away.

“Keep your filthy hands off him!”

Thanos backs off, holding his hands up. “Okay, okay. He can’t stay here, you know.”

“Where will you take him?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking.”

“Not here. I’d feel him. Take him away. Drive him somewhere nice, somewhere with lots of trees by the ocean so he can hear the waves.”

“Trees, sure. Ocean, fine.”

“Keep him wrapped up. Swear you won’t even look at him with your filthy eyes.”

“Loki-”

“Swear it to me, you monster, you did this to him! Swear!” she growls.

“Okay, I swear. It’s going to be dark in an hour, I’ll take him then.”

“Now. I can’t bear it.” Loki screams.

“Jesus. Fine.”

Fenrir is then scooped up by Thanos. The hold on him is awkward and it’s hard not to wriggle into a more comfortable position but he stays still.

“Gently!”

“Get back and turn around!”

Fenrir is tilted head down as Thanos taps the code. He can hear Ma’s moans and cries and tears fall from his own face. He can hear her voice until the boom of the door shuts behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Loki sings is the last verse of the poem "Norse Lullaby" by Eugene Field. I translated it into Norwegian to kind of connect him to Frigga and Odin's heritage, which will be discussed later on. 
> 
> The words in English are: " The king may sing in his bitter flight, The tree may croon to the vine to-night, But the little snowflake at my breast. Liketh the song I sing the best,--Sleep, sleep, little one, sleep; Weary thou art, anext my heart. Sleep, little one, sleep."
> 
> The next chapter might be a short one but it will most likely be posted tomorrow. 
> 
> If you are liking this fic leave a kudos or a comment! I really appreciate you all reading it.
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	5. Escape, Strangers, and Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that this would be a short chapter but I was wrong... This is where it's going to start diverting from the original script of Room a bit. This chapter was so hard to accomplish and try to make sure that it flowed correctly. 
> 
> I hope you like the changes to this part of the story, as from here on out, things will be different.

He feels Thanos stop to contemplate the backyard and his heart speeds up. Then he walks on. Fenrir is heaved into the back of an old pick up. The clang of the shovel dropped onto the bed of the truck beside the rug startles him, but he stays quiet. He listens to Thanos’ footsteps which head for the driver’s seat. The truck rumbles to life. It takes off, going faster than Fenrir knows was possible. He finally remembers that he’s meant to be wiggling out. He writhes, but the rug has tightened in transit. With an effort, he manages to roll over. No better. The engine quietens as the truck slows. Fenrir is not sure if that’s his signal and anyway he is still trapped in the rug. The truck doesn’t stop at the stop sign, only slows. Fenrir remembers his arms, he forces them above his head, wincing as the rug scrapes the skin off his elbow. Fenrir puts all his might into getting out of the rug. He begins thrashing about; kicking and flopping around like a dying fish.

The truck engine lulls as it makes a rolling stop. Fenrir feels the rug slide a little across the flatbed. This gives him just enough momentum that he bends within the rug and with a deep grunt and the rug starts to roll open. He bursts out and notices his elbow and lip are bloody. His face is covered in hair, snot, and tears as he opens his eyes. The world hits Fenrir with a crash: streetlamps, wind in his face, shocking colors of the sunset. Trees and houses looming and then receding, making him dizzy. Fenrir’s eyes focus on the cab of the truck and what he realizes must be the back of Thanos’ head, driving. Thanos slows at the third stop, and swings right. Fenrir is flung headlong, banging his leg on the left of the flatbed, he had been too distracted. The truck screeches to a stop, Thanos glimpsing Fenrir in his rearview mirror.

With a roar, the giant man flings the driver’s door open. Fenrir’s eyes widen.

Fenrir scrambles over to the opposite side and stands on the edge of the bed. Thanos jumps down and strides around the truck. Fenrir leaps down onto the tarmac, bloodying his left knee. His jaw smashes into his right knee. He picks a direction at random and tears away from the truck, stumbles and keeps going. His Ma’s voice is in his ear: "Don’t stop. Find somebody.”

Fenrir runs until he crashes into a tall man and his daughter walking their dog, the dog snarls at him.

“Cosmo!” the man says pulling the dog away by the collar.

By then, Thanos has caught up and scoops Fenrir up and over his shoulder. Fenrir lashes out in soundless terror, kicking and hitting Thanos as hard as he can.

“Excuse me? Hey!”

Thanos puts Fenrir down but holds his shoulders. Fenrir cringes, eyes on the ground.

“I’m so sorry. Is your little girl okay?”

“It’s under control. You can go back to your walk. He got away from me.”

The man stares at Fenrir’s bloody knee, elbow, and lip. “He been in some kind of accident? You want me to call someone?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Thanos gives his best smile, trying to convince the man that it is no problem.  
Fenrir doesn’t speak but pulls out the note and he tries to hand it to the man.

“What’s that you got there, honey?” asks the man, loosening his grip on the large dog.

“Why don’t you mind your own business and I’ll mind mine?” Thanos growls, seeing the note and grabbing it. He crumples it up and shoves it in his jacket pocket.

“I don’t like this,” the man pulls out his phone and begins to dial 911. Thanos picks up Fenrir again and hurries to his truck. Fenrir has started to cry, letting out small whimpers but he’s so nervous that screams get stuck in his throat.

“I’ve got your plates, mister! K93. You drop him, or I’ll let the dog loose!”

Thanos drops Fenrir hard onto the street, breaking out into a run towards the truck.

“Hey! Hey!”

Fenrir is lying in a heap and hears the driver’s door slam. The engine starts. Fenrir looks around and sees the truck barreling towards him. Confused and dizzy he manages to pull himself onto the sidewalk. The truck roars away. Fenrir collapses, blinking up at the vast evening sky; his brain is struggling to understand what he is seeing.

The man leans in a second later. “It’s okay, honey. The police are on their way.”

Fenrir curls into a ball, saying nothing.

~~~

Not long after a patrol car pulls up at the scene. Two officers step out and the man rushes over to them to explain what happened. He is talking quickly and keeps pointing at Fenrir, which makes the boy extremely nervous. Fenrir shudders at the cold and see’s the female officer staring at him. She is about Ma’s height, but her hair is dark red and short. She wears a funny hat that Fenrir has seen on TV. He glances away and picks up an oval from the ground. A leaf. A real green leaf. The woman who is not Ma hunkers down beside him.

“Hello there, I’m Officer Romanov. What’s your name?” There is something reassuring about her, she speaks softly and slowly. Fenrir forces himself to talk to one of these alien beings - but it is barely above a whisper and he doesn’t look her in the eye.

“Fenrir.”

“Henry?”

“Fenrir.”

The officer leans in to hear him better and Fenrir flinches away, scooting a bit further away. The other officer, Officer Barton, comes over speaking on his walkie talkie. The man is so unlike Thanos that makes Fenrir relax.

“We have a disturbed female juvenile, possible domestic-”

“Male.”

The officer does a double take and looks closer at the boy, “Correction, that’s a male juvenile.”

“You must be so cold, Fenrir. Is it alright if we get you a blanket?” Officer Romanov asks, her voice lower. She doesn’t want to frighten him. Fenrir nods even though she butchers his name, making it sound more like Fen-ry.

“Do you know how old you are, buddy?” He jumps not realizing she was speaking to him. Fenrir nods, peeking at her buckle, badge, gun, but not face. It’s all so new to him and he can barely comprehend. He’s never been around so much noise in his life.

“How many fingers?” She asks holding out her hands, all ten fingers spread out.

“Ten.” Fenrir answers simply.

“You’re ten years old?

“Ten fingers.”

“No, I meant show me with your fingers how old you are.”

“I’m five.” He holds out one hand in case she doesn’t get it. He also counts them. “One, two, three, four, five.”

“Five, great. And your address?”

Fenrir doesn’t understand what this means so he ignores it. The other officer is back with a blanket. Officer Romanov takes it and wraps it around Fenrir to keep him warm. She seems confused.

“Guess we should call Child Protection?” the male officer asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

The Not Ma Officer makes a wait gesture and speaks again Fenrir, who stiffens.

“Where do you sleep at night, Fenrir? Where do you go to bed?”

“In Wardrobe,” the boys says softly.

“In a wardrobe?” the male officer asks, Fenrir thinks he’s rude.

“Clint, hush. You have a Mom, Fenrir?”

“Ma.”

“Is that her real name, Fenrir?”

“She used to be Loki.”

“Is there another name, after Loki?”

Officer Barton cuts in, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Loki? Isn’t that?”

“I think so, you might want to call him and tell him to get down here immediately. He will want to check this out.”

“On it.” The male officer runs back to the car and pulls out his phone.

“So, is there a last name, after Loki, Fenrir?”

Fenrir struggles but can’t remember what Ma told him.

“Where is your Ma right now?”

Fenrir suddenly remembers that Thanos, furious that Loki has tricked him into setting Fenrir free, might be heading back to hurt her. His shyness melts a bit and talks a bit louder.

“Room!”

“What room? Where’s the room?”

“Not on any map.”

Officer Romanov’s questions almost overwhelm Fenrir as her own concern grows.

“The man with the truck, that your dad? Ma’s boyfriend? You know him?”

“Thanos.”

“I called him, he said he will be here in just a few minutes. Also tell the kid to speak up!” says Officer Barton and Officer Romanov glares at him.

“Thanos but I don’t know if that’s his real name!”

“Did this Thanos hurt you?” She goes to touch his lip, but he flinches away.

“I bit me by accident. And the, the, the -” he pats the ground to remember the word. “The hard of the street. I jumped and smashed my knee.”

Fenrir remembers Bad Tooth and takes it out of his mouth.

“What’s that, Fenrir?”

“A bit of Ma. So, she’d be with me.”

Both officers glance at each other. Suddenly a black car speeds up the road, the tires screeching as it comes to a stop. Fenrir ducks under the blanket.

A tall, broad man steps out, he spots Officer Barton and jogs over. “What is this all about, Barton? What am I looking at here? You mentioned Loki?”

“The kid mentioned that his mother’s name was Loki. Doesn’t know much else, Nat is trying to get more out of him, so you might ask her. He jumped out of a truck right over there. A man walking a dog saw the whole thing go down.”

The man looks over at Fenrir, who is peeking out at him from underneath the blanket. “I want to speak to the child.”

“Dude… I’m not sure that it’s a good idea. He’s skittish, won’t even look anyone in the eyes. Nat is the only one he will even speak to. And you are… you know… intimidating?”

“Clint, this is the first time we’ve had a lead in six years! I need to make sure,” Thor says and Clint sighs.

“Let me go talk to, Nat, see if she’s got anything yet.” Clint says, patting Thor’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Hey Nat, how’s it going? Thor is here and kind of wants to know what’s going on…”

Natasha starts to open her mouth but then Fenrir speaks before she can. “Thor? Ma said I had a Grandma, Grandpa, and an Uncle Thor.”

Natasha gaps and Clint nods, turning directly around to tell Thor the news. Thor comes over a minute later. He crouches down to get eye view with Fenrir, who doesn’t look at him.

“Hello, can you tell me your name?”

“Fenrir.”

“Fenrir. Wow that’s an amazing name. I really like it. My name is Thor. My friend said your Ma knew me?”

Fenrir nods, and finally turns his eyes to look at his Uncle and Thor gives a gasp. “Ma said I had an Uncle Thor. But I didn’t know he was real. Ma tells stories.”

Thor wills himself to slow knowing that overwhelming Fenrir would get them nowhere, “Okay, well I think I am pretty real. Maybe we should find your Ma, so she can tell you too. Do you think you could maybe show me where your Ma is?”

Fenrir shrugs. “I don’t…”

“We can try, together.”

~~~

They are moving in a police car. Fenrir’s head jerks left and right as he tries to make sense of the passing images. He flinches as a car passes in the other direction. There are bewildering signs he can’t make sense of.

“Do you see anything, Fenrir?”

“Everything.”

“No, but anything you recognize. Your room, Fenrir, is it in a bungalow - all one level? Or stairs? What’s outside the room?”

“Space- no the world,” he corrects and plucks at the seatbelt which is too high for him and pressing uncomfortably on his neck.

“Fenrir, when you step out of the door-” Fenrir shakes his head. “You don’t like to go outside?”

“We don’t know how to open the door.”

Thor winces but forces himself to keep asking questions. “Is there daylight in your room?”

Fenrir nods.

“How many windows.”

“Zero.”

“Then how does the sun come in?”

“Through Skylight.”

“Excellent, Fenrir.” He motions for Clint to ask into his walkie talkie “Check satellite. Sounds like she is being held in a house with a skylight.”

“Room’s not a house.”

“Ok. What is room?”

“It’s a...”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a... “

“Come on Fenrir, I need you to give me something to work with. We need to find her.”

“Room’s a… a shed.”

“A shed! You’re doing great, Fenrir. Now after you got in the truck-”

Fenrir shakes his head, “He putted me - I wasn’t meant to be alive.”

“What made you jump out of the truck, Fenrir?”

“Ma said it in my head,” he taps the side of his head.

“What exactly did she say.”

“Jump when it Slows Down. But I couldn’t, I was still trapped in Rug…”

“So, what did you do?”

“The third time, I got hit against the truck.”

“The third time of what?”

“The third slow, everything went sideways,” Fenrir mimes being flung across sideways, “and then it stopped, and I jumped and-”

Thor takes a harsh breath in and Fenrir stares at his Uncle. He’s pretty weird.

Natasha speaks up, “I think I understand, you got it Clint?”

Clint speaks into his walkie talkie: “Control. Listen carefully. South on Maple, three stop signs from the junction with Beach. Look for a garden shed with a skylight.”

“You did good, Fenrir. You did good.”

Officer Barton turns the car around. Minutes later they are outside an unlit house, with a police car and a back-up, unmarked car facing the other way. A plain clothes officer is knocking on the front door of the house when they get there.

Fenrir watches as Officer Romanov, Barton and his Uncle Thor haul out of the car. They begin poking around the side of the house, disappearing for a moment before running back. Officer Romanov takes a crowbar from the trunk of the car. She draws her weapon. Thor moves to leave the car.

“Stay with him, we don’t know what we are going to find.” She disappears around the back of the house, and Thor shouts after her. The man runs his hands through his hair. Fenrir hyperventilates, thinking about Thanos and Ma and doesn’t want her to be hurt.

“I want my Ma!”

Then Fenrir hears shouting and a crack of splitting wood. Thor is frozen, a few steps away from the car. Fenrir starts clawing at the door, can’t find the handle.

Then a figure hurtles towards the car: Ma. She can’t get the door open either because of the lock. Their faces press against the glass, they almost touch. Fenrir is screaming Ma and Ma is screaming his name hitting both hands against the glass.

“Get this fucking car door open, I need to get to him,” she screams, and Officer Romanov does as she asks. It’s a maternal rage that Thor has never seen in Loki, sure he had been on the receiving end of her anger but this, this is much different.

Finally, it opens, and Fenrir launches himself at his Ma, both falling to their knees, sobbing.

“My baby, my baby. You are okay,” she cries, petting his hair rocking him in her arms. “You made it. You got away.”

Thor is shell shocked, feet away from his sibling. She hasn’t even noticed him standing there yet.

“I’m so proud of you, you did so good. It’s over Fenrir. It’s over. We’re safe,” Loki says, still crying but leaning back to look over his injuries. Her face has bruises all over it, looking like Thanos had enacted his revenge in the meantime. Her eyes red as if she has done nothing but cried for hours.

“He did a good job, Loki,” Thor finally speaks, his voice full of emotion.

Loki’s breath is gone. She is shaking and Fenrir clings to her as she turns her upper body to see where that voice came from. A voice that she thought would she would ever hear again.

“Uncle Thor helpeded me.”

Loki can’t take her eyes off of the man before her. He has changed so much, his hair now much shorter, cut close to his head. There is also a sadness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. She doesn’t even want to know what he is seeing in her now. “Brother…”

Thor can’t take it and dives to hug Loki, who pulls him into a hug with her other arm. “Loki… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Loki buries her face into his shoulder, “It’s okay, I’m home. I’m home.”

~~~

The three of them stay huddled like this for a few minutes until Natasha and Clint mention that they need to get Loki and Fenrir to the hospital. Thor nods and escorts them to his personal car, shutting the door behind them while he makes an important phone call.

“Thor, my love, what’s wrong? Why are you calling so late?” Frigga’s voice.

“Mom… we found her,” he says and then is crying once again.

“Oh my gods, is she…?” Frigga cries out into the phone.

“No mum, she’s alive but there’s something that was unexpected…”

“What? Where are you? I want to see my baby. Can I talk to her?”

Thor looks inside the back seat to see Loki looking at Fenrir, cleaning his face with her ratted sleeve.

“Mum… she has a child. He is the one who led us to her, it’s her son. His name is Fenrir.”

“Oh, my poor baby. Let me speak with her Thor.”

“If she doesn’t want to talk, we are going to be at the hospital in about an hour.”

“I’m already getting dressed.”

Thor knocks on the window, causing both of the people inside to jump but Loki rolls down the window.

“Thor, Fenrir is so tired. Can we go somewhere to sleep?”

“Yeah, I’m fixing to drive us there but... would you like to speak to mum?” Thor holds the phone out to her.

Loki freezes, her body stuck between remaining frozen in fear and wanting to grab that phone and cry out her pain to her mother. Finally, she shakes her head. She isn’t prepared for that at the moment. Fenrir needs her attention as she can feel him shaking hard against her.

Thor nods and Loki rolls the window up.

“Mum, she said she will speak to you at the hospital. She’s had a rough night mum,” Thor tells Frigga sadly.

“I understand. Tell her that I’m not angry and that I love her. I will call your father,” Frigga sighs, disappointed but she always understood Loki, even when no one else did.

“Good luck with that.”

“Okay, my sweet prince, I am going to call your father and get on the road. I should be there in an hour.”

“Same here, see you later mum.”

~~~

For the car ride there, Thor is mostly quiet. He doesn’t know what to say to Loki, doesn’t want to ask the wrong question and ruin everything.

“Loki…”

“Thor, I will answer your questions later but for now, I need a moment to gather my bearings. There’s a lot to comprehend,” she whispers, her head against the window, watching the passing buildings.

“I won’t push you.”

“Thank you.”

Fenrir nuzzles his Ma. “Can we go to bed now?”

“They are taking us somewhere we can sleep.”

“No, Bed in Room.” Fenrir asks.

The car is silent. Loki is saddened at the thought of Fenrir thinking that their escape was temporary, but he shakes his head.

“No. We aren’t going back to Room. We are in the world now Fenrir, you can rest your head on me for now. Uncle Thor will get us safely to the hospital.”

 

~~~

The next time he wakes, Fenrir finds himself carried through a hospital emergency room by Ma. They are surrounded by Thor and Officer Barton and Romanov, and a few other aliens he doesn’t know. A woman has her arm around Ma and is sobbing openly. This is a strange dream, he thinks.

“Ma?”

“Go back to sleep, my child,” and Fenrir does, burying his face in her neck. “You are safe, and I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember if you liked this chapter and want to see more just leave a kudos or maybe a comment! I really appreciate everyone who even just reads my story. It's been a lot of fun so far just to put my bit of writing out there into the world!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	6. Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Fenrir are finally safe, tucked into a safe room at the hospital. A new character is introduced! It's a simple chapter!

“You’ll be right in here Mrs. Odinson,” a doctor said, escorting them into a large room. “I will come back to see you and your son in the morning. I will leave you all alone for the time being. We will have new clothes brought up for you in the morning as well. I had a nurse set up a cot.”

“Thank you,” Loki nods to him, her voice soft so she does not wake Fenrir. The doctor leaves.

“Can I help you, my love?” Frigga asks from behind her and it makes her jump. Somehow forgetting that there were other people with them.

“No, I want to put him to bed real fast. Then we can talk,” Loki says, not looking at either her mother or brother who shut the door behind them. Loki crosses the room to the bed and strips back the covers. For a moment she pauses at how good they feel, her entire body just wanting to dive in. Loki disregards the cot. Fenrir slides easily into bed after she pries his fingers from her shirt. The hardest part is undressing him. She quickly tosses the clothes in the bin next to the bed and turns back to Fenrir, unable to take her eyes off of him. She brings the covers up to his chin and pets his hair.

“He is beautiful, my love,” Frigga says, crossing the room to stand next to Loki. “He looks like you.”

“He is my entire life. I didn't ,” Loki smiles and a hand goes to the bruises around her throat. She’s so unbelievably tired and worn from the day. “I didn’t think I would see him again.”

Frigga’s heart breaks. She turns her daughter to look at her, cupping her daughter’s face in her hands; Loki leans into them as if she were a young girl again. Frigga mourns the loss of her daughter's innocence and the light she once carried with her. The 17 year old she remembers is now replaced with a pale, hardened woman who has been through so much. She looks over every inch before her golden eyes settle to look into Loki’s. “I never thought I would see you again, but we were both wrong. He found you, and in turn, brought you back to us. To me.”

Loki can feel herself falter, lip quivering. She has cried so much today she isn’t sure if there is anything left. Part of her wants to never let go of her mother, to make sure that this isn't a really shitty dream. All Loki can muster is, “I’m home, mum. I’m home.”

“You are and I couldn’t be happier,” Frigga smiles and kisses Loki’s forehead. “Thor and I will be back in the morning to check on you and bring you clothes. I have the number to the hospital, but I will leave mine on the notepad if you need anything. We are going to be in the hotel next door. Try to get some sleep, love.”

Loki nods, wiping her face on her sleeve. Thor crosses the room now to give his sister a hug. “I am so glad to have you home, Loki. Do you need someone to stay with you?”

“No, I don’t want to startle Fenrir if he wakes up to see someone he doesn’t know. We will be fine for tonight. Thank you so much, Thor, for bringing Fenrir back to me.”

“It was him, all I had to do was listen to what he had to say. He's such a good kid. Goodnight sister.”

“Goodnight Thor.”

With that, Frigga and Thor are gone. Loki takes a minute to gather herself. She switches all the lights off but one and shuts the blinds before undressing. With a sigh she climbs in bed next to Fenrir and for the first time she sleeps through the night.

~~~

The next morning, Fenrir wakes to a bright room. The cot bed, unused, has been pushed to the side. Fenrir is awake but is content to lie close to Ma for a while - studying everything about the room. Ma is still asleep, her dark hair partially covering her face. Seeing Loki’s face brings tears to his eyes, knowing that he was the cause. Fenrir sits up and pulls back the sheet. He can see more bruises littering her entire body, along with several cuts. He glances down at what he’s wearing which is only a pair of underpants from Room which look wretched in this environment. He touches the part of the mattress he was laying on, it’s damp. There are remains of toast on a plate next to a cup of tea on the side table. Fenrir sniffs at the food. He walks towards the window on the opposite wall and opens the blinds. The vast world below him amazes him and he doesn’t understand.

“Ma. Ma.” Fenrir whimpers, running back to his mother and jumping on her.

“Good morning, sleepy head. I was waiting so long for you to wake that I fell back asleep,” Loki responds with a smile, the first real one Fenrir has seen in months.

“Where are we?”

“It’s a room-” she hears the word and stops herself. “A bedroom in a hospital.”

“What’s a hospital?”

“It’s where sick people go to get medicine to get better.”

“Are we sick for real or pretend?”

“We are not sick. We’re the opposite of sick.”

“How long are we staying?”

“Not long. Grandma and Uncle Thor were here last night before I went to sleep. They said they would ask the doctors.”

Fenrir glances at the bed. “I wetted the bed… before. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” The phone next to them bursts to life, frightening Fenrir. Ma picks it up. “Yes, he just now got up... Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind, we’d appreciate it.” Ma hangs up as Fenrir tries to tug the sheets off the bed. Loki stops him.

“Don’t worry about that. Someone will wash it. Come on, we have to get ready.” Ma steps out of bed, she’s wearing a robe. It says, ‘Nine Realms Hospital’.

“What’s that?” he asks pointing at the robe.

“Do you like it? There’s one for you too,” Loki picks up the robe from beside the bed and puts him in it, it’s way too big. She then begins to take off his damp underpants. She throws them in the trash. She leads him into the bathroom.

“That’s waste, Ma.”

“We’ll get new ones.”

“For Sunday Treat?”

Loki smiles and crouches down, “There are going to be so many treats, not just on Sundays. We could have every day treats if we wanted to.”

“Wow!” Fenrir looks around, “Where’s the bath?”

“It’s a shower instead. Splashier.” Loki then notices a large mirror, this is the first time she’s seen herself properly in 7 years. She studies herself, her long black hair now down to her butt and she bares her teeth. They aren’t horrible, but she definitely needs a dentist. She points out their reflections to Fenrir. “Fenrir, look. That’s us.”

Loki picks him up and stands him on the counter, so he can see better. Fenrir looks and turns in the mirror, finally seeing himself for the first time; his hair is long like Loki’s but is a shade or two lighter. He bares his teeth, copying her. The thing they do share is their eyes. Loki presses their faces together so they are side by side, letting Fenrir look between them for as long as he likes. 

“Ma, will he find us?” Fenrir's small voice breaks through the silence. “He hurt you bad.” 

“No. He will never, ever come again. I’m alright now that we are away from Room. I swear it. Do not worry, we are safe,” Loki promises, kissing his cheek. “Come on, shower time.”

Loki steps to the shower and starts the water, letting it warm. She shrugs the robe off and hops into the shower with a pleased sigh. Fenrir shakes his head when she gestures to him to get in.

“Bath before Bed.”

Loki is confused. “What?”

“Bath before Bed. That’s the rule.”

“There aren’t any rules now, Fen. We can do what we like!” Loki groans with pleasure as the water hits the back of her neck.

“Are you hurting?”

“No, love. It feels good,” Loki laughs, and Fenrir finally joins her. Loki washes him with a hand towel since he will not get directly under the stream. After Fenrir has decided he has had enough of the water splashing him in the face, he exits. Loki takes a moment to herself to properly wash herself, turning the water as hot as she could stand it. For the first time in seven years, she washes her hair with real shampoo. She also is relieved to find a razor to shave her legs and underarms. She cannot remember the last time she felt so clean and refreshed.

Later, Loki is staring at the street below. Fenrir is nosing around the room taking in the strange experience. He opens the drawers one by one, finding nothing.

There is a light tap at the door which only Fenrir hears.

“The door is ticking,” he says as the door opens, startling himself and Ma so he runs and hides behind her. A man comes in, wearing a funny mask.

“Hello there, I hear we’re all woken up.”

“That’s right,” Ma speaks, and Fenrir buries his head into her. “It’s okay, Fen.”

“Hello, Fenrir. I’m Dr. Banner. You were asleep when I came in this morning.” A woman walks in pushing a breakfast tray and leaves it next to the bed before taking her exit.

Fenrir won’t make eye contact with the doctor, but the man tries his hardest.

“You must be hungry,” Dr. Banner says and moves the breakfast in front of them. Loki removes the plastic domed lids and foil. Fenrir stares at the strange food. Loki eats with gusto at the food.

“I have some things for you both,” Dr. Banner hands Loki two pairs of sunglasses, sunscreen, and the masks. “It might be more comfortable if you wear the sunglasses and sunscreen any time you go outside. The mask is for Fenrir.”

“Is that necessary?” Loki asks, her mouth full.

“Lots of germs in the air to get used to,” Dr. Banner then hands Ma two pill bottles. “My colleague has prescribed these for the pain until we can schedule a surgery. The second one is to help you sleep.”

“Okay, thanks,” Ma looks at him, “Try it, it’s very, very yummy. You will like it, I promise.”

Fenrir is not convinced and continues to poke at the strange food.

“Have you thought more about what we discussed this morning?”

“Thanks for the offer but we’re going to go home.”

“You know my view, Loki. After what you’ve experienced and we would like to assess Fenrir. And it would help soften the transition,” Dr. Banner explained.

“Nothing happened to Fenrir.”

“I understand, but even at a cognitive-sensory level - depth perception, auditory processing…”

“But he’s okay, right? There isn’t anything wrong with him,” she asks, her voice worried.

“The most important thing you did was to get him out while he’s still plastic. His mind is still growing and can conform to the new things he is learning. Especially since it is all hitting him very, very fast. You had time to grow used to these things growing up while he has not.”

Fenrir then leans over and whispers in Loki’s ear and she giggles, “I’m not plastic.”

“What’s that Fenrir?” asks Dr. Banner.

Loki smiles, “He says he’s real, not plastic.”

Dr. Banner laughs, “I cannot argue with that, Fenrir. Real and very brave.”

Suddenly, there are three voices that come from outside the door.

“Oh, for God’s sake!”

Dr. Banner glances at the door, “We can talk about this again. It sounds like you have more important things to do right now.”

The door bursts open and Frigga enters carrying an overnight bag. Her face gives off an air of annoyance at the two men in her tow. The two men seem to have been arguing. Fenrir shrinks into Loki. The older man has white hair and looks rumpled from travel, Odin.

The three of them discard their masks when they walk into the room.

“We couldn’t wait any longer, sweetie.” Frigga speaks, her eyes shining. “Well Thor and I tried to make sure that you were okay with us coming but your father…”

“Father!” Loki grins, finally spotting the man.

Loki gives the man a hug and it is briefly returned. Odin pulls back to clasp her on the shoulders. “My daughter.”

Loki grins but her eyes go to the floor as Odin looks her completely over. She knows how different she looks than seven years ago. Odin recognizes that the innocent air about Loki that she once had, is completely gone. His hands tighten when he finally sees the bruises that litter her face and neck. She hisses and pulls away.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright, faðir.”

“Ma…” Fenrir whispers from the bed, suddenly nervous at all the people in the room.

Odin falters and glances over at Fenrir briefly, who curls up. Loki sees this and steps back to her son, “Fenrir, Fen it’s okay. This is your Grandpa and Grandma, I don’t know if you remember Grandma being here last night.” Fenrir shakes his head.

“Hello, Fenrir,” Frigga greets as she bends down a bit to speak to him, her golden curls falling into her face. She brushes them back . Fenrir doesn’t answer and continues to hide his face into his mother’s body. “It’s okay. Thank you so much for saving my little girl, Fenrir. It’s so nice to finally meet you while you are awake.”

Odin tries to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes, Loki notices but chooses not to say anything. It is a tense situation for them all, including Loki herself.

“Hi, Fenrir.” Thor speaks, waving at him. Fenrir smiles a tiny bit, remembering the man who helped him find Ma.

“You remember Uncle Thor, don’t you?” Loki asks him and Fenrir nods. “Good, can you at least say hi back to him?”

Fenrir opens his mouth to speak but Odin shuffles and that spooks him, so the boy retreats back into his mother.

“That’s alright, Fenrir. We’ll try again later,” Thor smiles, winking at them.

Frigga lifts her bag and hands it to Loki. “I hope I didn’t forget anything. Though I feel as if I did.”

“I’m sure it is perfect, mother. Thank you for bringing it.

~~~

Fenrir grasps his mother’s coat tightly. She is dressed in black trousers and an old warm winter coat that threatens to fall off of her narrow shoulders. Fenrir has his pajamas on under his robe and a warm coat that Loki thinks might have been hers many years ago. Both wear sunglasses and Fenrir is smeared in sunscreen, well the parts that aren’t covered by the mask or hat. They sit with Odin, Frigga, and Thor.

Frigga is watching them, picking at her hands nervously and Fenrir notices that his Ma is doing the same. He watches her until her full attention turns to him and he quickly looks away.

Loki is playing with the fraying part of her coat until Frigga speaks. “I kept everything of yours, my dear. I’m not sure if you still want it all though, I guess we could go through it once we are home and settled.”

“Thanks, mother.” Loki says and places her hand on Fenrir to keep him from taking the shoes off, the first he’s ever worn. “Keep them, Fenrir, you’ll get used to it. I know it feels weird. I’m struggling with it too.”

“It’s good to have you back, Loki,” Odin finally speaks and puts his hand on her shoulder, it is awkward now. They were never as close as Loki and Frigga were but there was not this much distance between them until now. Loki wipes a tear away.

“So, what’s the deal between you two,” Loki finally asks.

Frigga and Odin glance at each other. Frigga is the first to speak, “After you disappeared it was rough for a time. We disagreed on certain ways to handle it. Myself and your father. Thor as well.”

“And what does that mean?”

“We aren’t separated, my dear. No, we could never do that. It’s just been hard, we’ve grown apart a bit. Your father is living in Oslo at the moment-”

 

“But I plan to move back, I was there on a trial, but it is plain that I am needed here.” Odin interrupts and Loki nods. It could be worse, she reminds herself.

“I am still in the city, a detective. I decided that I wanted to do everything in my power to help find you,” Thor says. He is more relaxed now than he was last night, and Loki is thankful. “It’s the reason they called when they found Fenrir.”

Loki doesn’t know how to feel about this. She is sad that her disappearance pushed him down a path, farther away from following Odin into law. She is also relieved that Thor chose what he wanted to do and in turn saved Loki.

Fenrir tugs at Loki, “What Fenrir?”

Fenrir shakes his head and won’t say it out loud, so Loki has to lean down. “It’s too big here, Ma.”

“It’s okay, Fen.”

“I want some,” Fenrir says and starts to burrow under her coat.

Odin looks at them both, shocked. “What… is he doing?”

Loki is taken aback by Odin’s reaction, while she knew that this was a harsh reality that had slapped her parents and Thor in the face. But she expected him to not look so horrified at her relationship with Fenrir. She pulls Fenrir away, “Wait a moment. We’ll go inside.” Her tone is snappy and harsh.

Frigga reaches out, “It’s okay, sweetie.”

“No, I need to go back now, anyway. I have some things that I need to attend to,” Loki says and stands, noticing Fenrir took his shoes off. She is flustered and angry and kind of wants to scream. So she grabs them with a huff, lifting Fenrir into her arms. Fenrir chances a look at his grandparents. Odin looks down, not looking Fenrir in the eye and Frigga gives him a warm smile, waving goodbye.

She carries Fenrir back to their room and on the way, Fenrir becomes fascinated with the things he sees. There are so many people doing different things. It doesn’t take them long to reach their private room, when they do Loki sets Fenrir down with a sigh.

“Here baby,” she says and offers him a device and headphones. “It has music and I need you to listen to it for a while for me, okay?”

Fenrir nods and takes it from her, letting her show him how to work it. It takes Loki a bit, the technology out of his time as well. “There we go, love.”

While Fenrir is distracted, listening to music. Loki has a moment to herself, she runs her hands through her hair and her head falls back. She didn’t think adjusting to being out of Room would be so hard. She thought it would be harder for Fenrir but they boy seems to take everything in stride.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. She crosses the room and opens the door and two detectives come in.

“Thank you, Ms. Odinson. We want to discuss some things with you on your case that we are putting together. Could we ask you to look at some pictures and tell us what everything is?”

“Sure, can we look at them over here? That way he doesn’t see?”

The detectives agree, and Loki speaks with them, showing her pictures of Room on the laptop that they took. Her heart rate picks up and it feels a bit hard to breathe but she manages to struggle through it.

“That’s the wardrobe, it’s where he slept when he came. I never let Fenrir out while Thanos was there…”

“Thank you, Ms. Odinson. I think that’s the only questions we have for now, we were told to tell you a nurse would be in a little bit.”

Loki nods and walks over to Fenrir, a bit shaken. Before she can say anything, the nurse comes in with a tray.

“I’m here to weigh and measure him. As well as take some blood and give him his shots. I’m sure you’d like to help me with this. I don’t want to scare him.”

Loki nods and pulls the headphones off of Fenrir’s head gently. “Okay buddy. Can you help me?”

Fenrir nods. It doesn’t take long to weigh and measure him, Fenrir quite enjoys this part.

“Ma, I’m not six yet.”

Loki smiles, “I know but the doctors need to know how tall you are.”

The shots and blood taking take a bit longer than expected. Fenrir screams and cries into Loki, it takes the “Dylan the Digger” story before he calms long enough to get them done.

Finally, it’s all over and the nurse leaves.

“It’s over, you did a good job. I’m proud.”

“Ma, I’m hungry.”

“Dinner will be here before too long.”

It does indeed come and Loki picks at her food gingerly as Fenrir breastfeeds from her. The news is on the TV.

The anchor is speaking about something Loki barely understands before it switches to another story.

“And now to developments in the case of the young woman, believed to be Loki Odinson,” there is a picture of her as a young teenager on the screen with a younger Thor as well. “..who was rescued last night, along with her child, from a garden shed having allegedly been held captive for over seven years. We are getting unconfirmed reports that an individual has been arrested, after what one witness has called a ‘short stand-off’ at a house on the east side.”

There is a picture of Thanos’ house and Loki starts to feel her breath pick up when the phone ring. She answers.

“I know, Thor. I’m watching it right now. I can’t believe it. I didn’t know that you all had arrested him,” Loki says.

“My buddies found his truck a few hours away at a hotel, someone called in a tip once we put the description out there. I was about to call you to tell you” Thor explains. “Did those detectives come up to talk to you?”

The anchor speaks again, “Both victims are understood to be receiving medical attention at an unknown location. The child, of unknown gender, was described by one eyewitness as unable to walk…”

“Wait a second Thor,” Loki tells her brother and switches off the TV set, reclining in the bed taking Fenrir with her. “Yes, they came up. I told them a bit, but it was… stressful.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to talk to anyone by yourself anymore. Father is talking to them now, as your lawyer.”

“Okay, is he alright? He doesn’t…” Loki hesitates

“I’m not sure Loki. It will take some time… Father loves you and he will warm up. You know how he is, even as his children it took us ten years to get him to warm up to us,” Thor jokes and Loki laughs.

“You are very right,” Loki smiles and looks down, Fenrir is asleep against her chest. “It’s time for bed. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay sister. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! Oh Odin and his A+ parenting skills.... maybe they will get better. We know Fenrir will worm his way into the old man's heart. They get to go home in the next chapter!
> 
> Like always, if you like the story and this chapter, leave a kudos or a comment!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	7. Look at Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I combined the next two chapters, they seemed to flow better this way. Still going to keep 12 chapters, the last one is more likely going to end as an epilogue.

The next day, Fenrir and Loki are dressed similarly to how they were yesterday, both in sunglasses and heavy coats. Thor is carrying their bag with their very few possessions. Dr. Banner chases after them.

“You have your schedule of appointments, and your medications. Please completely finish the course of antibiotics. Every single pill.”

“I understand, Doctor Banner, thank you.”

“You have my number, correct?”

“Got it.”

“If you need anything, if you want to talk, you use call me, alright? I will have my phone on me.”

Loki nods and pauses at the door until they are beckoned over by the police officers. Loki picks up Fenrir and holds him close. Fenrir takes in the size of the world, whispering a small “wow” into Loki’s ear, which makes Loki hum in agreement. People are talking all around them and Fenrir doesn’t understand a thing.

She is ushered into a van, accidentally bumping Fenrir’s head. Thor and Frigga file in after them.

“Sorry,” she says as she buckles him in, the door being shut behind them. Before they know it, the convoy is headed out. Loki watches as Fenrir takes in the world around them.

“I love you, my sweet baby,” she whispers as she takes the mask off his face. The cars turn as she does and it becomes a street that looks familiar but is strange. There is media all over the road and set up behind barricades.

“Jesus,” Loki mumbles and tidies her hair.

She watches as Odin emerge from the first car, beginning to address the crowds and reporters. Thor sighs and his taken aback by all the people outside his childhood home. So many people who have never met Loki in their life are holding signs. Some read: 'We love you', 'We knew you’d come home', or 'God bless you'.

“Ready for this sister?”

Loki adjusts her sunglasses, puts the mask over Fenrir’s face again, and unbuckles both of their seatbelts. She doesn’t answer Thor. “Are you ready, love?”

“Steady - go.”

They climb out, heads down shielded by the detectives and Thor. Fenrir stumbles and almost falls but Thor picks him up, shielding him from the cameras with his body. Loki looks back to make sure he’s okay before. There is a helicopter overhead and Frigga joins them, taking Loki’s hand and they rush for the front door.

People are screaming to get Fenrir’s attention and Loki’s as well. Thor hands off Fenrir to Loki and joins Odin who is speaking to the reporters. “Now… excuse me, please… now I will read a brief statement our family after which I would ask you to respect our privacy. I’m sure you can understand this is a very…” his voice fades as Frigga, Loki and Fenrir enter the house. Another agent is speaking to them now, Officer Barton. Fenrir scowls.

“The back of the property is well screened, and we’ve added to that where necessary. So, if you keep these drapes closed you’ll have complete privacy. We’ll be right outside if there’s anything at all you need. I’m sure Thor will have it handled though.” The agent leaves and suddenly it’s Frigga, Loki, and Fenrir standing in complete silence.

Frigga breaks the silence, sounding beat, “My goodness. Are you two okay? Quite a crowd...”

“We are fine, that was crazy. I didn’t expect there to be so many… people who care that much?”

“Of course, there would be people that care, Loki. It is a relief to have you home. Fenrir, would you like a drink?” Frigga asks.

Fenrir sticks glued to Loki’s side. “Fenrir, Grandma is asking if you’d like something to drink, be polite please.”

Fenrir pulls her down to whisper in her ear. “Juice, please.”

“Juice? Okay, just some juice. I’m fine,” Loki tells Frigga and she disappears into the kitchen.

“What are those for?” Fenrir asks looking at the table across from them where they sit on the sofa. There are vases and vases full of flowers. Some are sitting on the table and others sit on the floor.

“They’re from people saying they’re happy that we’re safe and back home.”

“What people?”

“Just people,” she responds speaking softly as if they are in a doctor's office or a stranger’s house, trying to make a good impression. Loki feels as if raising her voice would break the illusion that she and Fenrir are safe at home. Loki feels more disconnected now from her family than she ever has, with the only bond that actually feels right is the one between her and Fenrir. She wraps an arm around him and turns around to look out the backyard window. Fenrir does the same.

“Where’s the ice cream in the hammock?”

“Mother, what have you done with the hammock?” Loki calls out.

“Your brother put it in the basement a few years ago,” Frigga responds.

“Basement?” Fenrir asks.

Loki smiles, “It’s an underground part of the house. It’s where people store things, most of the time. Thor can take you down there to find the hammock.”

“No, you can.”

Loki sighs and nods, Fenrir smiles and looks at his feet, spotting a small dog toy and he presses it with his toe. It gives a loud squeak and Loki giggles when Fenrir latches to her leg in fright. Just then Frigga walks in holding trays with juice, water, cookies, cake.

“Just in case you feel hungry.”

“You have a dog?”

“It’s Thor’s dog, Hogun,” Frigga answers.

“You don’t like dogs, mum.”

“Oh no. I babysit him all the time when Thor’s out of town. He’s won me over. The thing is such a nice companion. The hospital said to avoid pets, until your immunity is back up… and there’s so much to take in. So, he is staying with Sif, Thor’s friend.”

“Sif-”

Then the front door open and closes and it makes Loki and Fenrir jump. She, without thinking, grabs him and pulls him closer. She relaxes when she sees it’s Thor, followed by Odin. He looks tired, having taken questions from reporters. The man looks for a seat, choosing one as far away from Fenrir as he can get, Loki does not miss this. Thor joins the two on the couch.

“You okay?” Frigga asks, offering Odin a piece of cake.

“Lawyer says they are expecting a plea but can’t rule out a trial. He wants to get into everything, I said it can wait.”

“Good. Those things can wait for a while.”

“Most of the press will move on in a couple days. I made it clear there’d be no more contact statements. To respect our family,” Odin replies, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Can I get you a drink, father?” Thor asks.

“Thank you, Thor. Yes. I’d like that very much. Scotch… whatever you have.”

“Will do.”

Frigga turns her attention to Loki, “Is there anything you’d like, or like to do?”

“Just rest for now, I think.”

“Sure, come on.”

Loki and Fenrir move towards the stairs. On their way Loki grabs the small bag of their belongings Thor left near the stairs. Frigga follows. When they reach the foot of the stairs Fenrir stops.

“Ma…”

“It’s okay, I’ll show you how.” Loki speaks, soft again. “It’s so easy.” She hands the bag to Frigga and maneuvers Fenrir to show him how to hold the handrail and climb the stairs. “Good boy, there you go my sweet. Just a few more.”

It’s a little unstable at first but they reach the top of the stairs and Fenrir looks proud of himself. He quickly is taking all of the things he sees in. There are pictures all over the walls of Ma and Thor. Loki points out herself in all the pictures. Finally, they reach the door to Loki’s old room, she pushes it open and it takes a second for her and Fenrir to take it all in. It is decorated the same way she left it, including her stack of books next to her door from where she had set them down. The walls are a dark green and there are posters on the walls but not too many that it looks clustered. Loki was never one for the classic “teenage girl” bedroom.

“This is your mum’s room, Fenrir.” Frigga tells him, and Fenrir pushes a long strand of hair out of his face.

“Hey, is your hair bothering you? Perhaps we can cut it tomorrow. What do you say, Fen?”

Fenrir shakes his head and pulls his Ma’s hand down, so he can whisper into her ear.

“Fenrir says that’s where his ‘strong’ is.”

Frigga gives a small laugh but is confused. Fenrir walks over to the bed and sits down on it. Feeling the quilt that lays over the bed with his hand. He looks at all of the pictures that hang the walls. He picks up the picture on the side of the bed that is of Ma and Thor when they were little. Fenrir thinks it is him for a slight second.

“I’ll let you two rest. We’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Frigga tells them but before she leaves she pulls Loki close in a hug, pressing their foreheads together. “Loki. I am here for you, no matter what. You can tell me anything. I love you so much, my child. You have my heart. You and Fenrir both are safe. I promise.”

Loki kisses her cheek before she leaves. Frigga gives her a small smile and takes her leave, leaving the door open behind her.

“Fenrir look,” Loki says, seeing a box of cards on her desk. She picks them up, shuffling them from hand to hand. “Wanna see a trick?” Fenrir nods running over.

Loki shuffles them and then shows the cards to Fenrir. “Okay, can you split the cards for me please, take half a stack and put it next to the other?” He does. “Okay thank you, now I am going to be able to predict that the fourth card in this stack is the 3 of clubs.” She goes to the first stack and counts out four cards and looks at it, not showing it to Fenrir. Then she goes to the other and pulls out the fourth. It’s the three of clubs.

Fenrir stands amazed. “What.”

“Bet you didn’t know I could do magic, could you?” She laughs and crosses the room to the bed and Fenrir follows.

“How long do we have to stay here?” Fenrir asks as she takes out her meds, taking them without water.

“We live here now.”

Fenrir swallows and tries to understand the situation. He doesn’t know what to do so he snuggles up to his mum and lifts her shirt, so he can breastfeed again. Loki wraps an arm around him, eyes closed. For a brief second, they could be back in Room again and Loki has to open her eyes to make sure they aren’t. Soon Fenrir is finished, and Loki tugs her shirt back down and pulls Fenrir up, so they can nap as her medicine kicks in.

~~~

Later that evening after a nap they are all at the dinner table, Fenrir pressed up close to Loki. They are all eating dessert: chocolate ice cream. Loki groans in pleasure after her first spoonful, having not had the treat in seven years. She finishes her bowl before anyone else. Fenrir watches her eat and it inspires courage for him to try the treat. He takes a huge mouthful and then holds his hands to his head. He tugs at Loki’s shirt and she leans down to listen.

“Ice cream hurts.”

“That is a brain freeze Fenrir. I know it hurts. Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth so it goes away.” Thor tells him with a smile, feigning a brain freeze himself. Fenrir giggles quietly.

“You have to eat it slower, I know I ate mine fast but try smaller bites.”

Odin hasn’t said much over dinner, choosing to eat his food in silence. He refuses to even look at Fenrir or Loki for that matter. The small talk that goes on is irritating to Loki and she grows more and more agitated as the night goes on. Upset, she slams the spoon down on the table and Fenrir jumps. He goes back to eating his ice cream, discovering that trying to chew it makes his teeth hurt. So, he takes to lapping at his spoon. Odin watches this before standing.

“I’m going to turn in for the night.”

“Is something wrong, father?” Loki asks, her voice harsh.

“No.”

“Why are you in such a hurry?”

“It’s been a long day Loki, I wish to rest.”

“You haven’t said one word to Fenrir. Not a single word.” Loki snaps pointing a finger at her father, standing.

Frigga reaches out a hand. “Loki.”

Odin continues to look away from Fenrir, but he has never been one to back down. “Do not yell at me like that, Loki. We don’t have to talk about this now.”

Frigga is suddenly hit with a realization that Odin refuses to acknowledge Fenrir. “My God.”

“Yes, we do. We do have to talk about this now. Look at him,” Loki snaps and Odin still can’t. Her anger defuses, and sorrow takes its place. “Father, please. He is my baby and you are going to have to deal with it.”

“Odin.”

“Father,” Thor finally chimes in. “It’s not a hard thing to do.”

“Please.” Loki begs, and Fenrir doesn’t understand what’s going on. He wants the tension to go away.

“I can’t, I can’t… I’m sorry.”

“He’s my baby. Why-”

“It’s because of what that bastard did to you Loki! He defiled you and in turn you....”

“Father don’t...” Thor says trying to defuse the situation. He can see Loki’s tight grip on her fork and grows nervous.

Loki quickly pulls Fenrir to her chest and pulls the music device from her pocket, handing it to him. She makes sure the music is loud enough to cover what she is about to say to her father.

“In turn I got the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s the only reason I got out of that stupid room. I would have killed myself if it wasn’t for him. He’s not Thanos’. He’s mine. I don’t care about biology because you taught me that to be a father you had to love and care for your children. I’m the only person who gave that to him for five years.” Loki sobs. “All I’m asking is for you to look at him and you are too scared. Too cowardly to face the damn truth.”

“Odin, that boy is the only reason we have Loki back. He saved her life, not just by saving her but gave her a reason to keep fighting,” Frigga says, collapsing in the chair next to Thor, her head in her hands.

“I know, Frigga, but I can’t look at him and not see what that bastard did to her. The pain you suffered Loki… “

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Loki whispers. “I am aware I suffered and all I’m trying to do is create some semblance of a life for my son…”

The room falls quiet.

“Ma… it turned off...” Fenrir looks ready to cry, she removes the headphones.

“It’s alright, my love. You did nothing wrong. It’s time to get ready for bed as it is.”

“Loki…”

“We are all tired, Father, let her go,” Thor tells him, letting the woman retreat upstairs.

Odin nods and let’s Loki leave. He has seen Loki standoffish, but this is a first for her, the first time she’s ever stood up to Odin in this way, not caring of any consequences. He is surprised. Odin wishes Frigga a goodnight, kissing her on the cheek before retreating into the guest bedroom. As he walks down the hall he stops at the partially open door to see Loki and Fenrir curled in bed, both fast asleep. He pushes it open a bit further to look a bit longer. He sighs and then shuts the door completely.

~~~

“Yes, yes, please,” Loki says as Frigga hands her a cup of coffee. It is the first words anyone has said all morning.

Fenrir is eating cereal but in the middle of chewing, he whispers to Loki. “Where’s Grandpa?”

“He had some business to attend to at his office, he will be back later,” Frigga answers.

Loki holds Fenrir’s face in her hands, “What is our rule about chewing with our mouth open?”

Fenrir swallows quickly. “It is rude and to swallow before you speak.”

“Good boy, now would you like to play with some of your toys?”

Fenrir shakes his head and is content to sit by his mum. He pulls at her shirt and she complies, letting him breastfeed again while Frigga cleans up the kitchen. They don’t speak until the door opens. There are not many people left outside just a few bystanders with nothing to do and a uniformed police officer and his car.

Loki gently pushes Fenrir away and pulls down her shirt. Just as she does Odin enters again with Frigga. This time he does give Fenrir a nod as a greeting. Loki is unsure of what to say, knowing they ended things badly last time.

“Thank you, Frigga. Loki, I have some forms for you to sign.”

“Alright,” Loki sighs and pulls out paper and crayons for Fenrir to color with. Fenrir pulls out the same five colors that they had in Room and begins to draw. Odin places forms out for Loki and she begins signing.

Fenrir glances at Odin who is sitting next to his mother. Fenrir pushes a piece of paper towards his Grandfather along with the crayons. Odin raises his eyebrows but takes a color.

“Thank you…” Loki whispers, reading through some of the forms.

Odin pats Loki’s empty hand, a bit of a smile on his face.

Thor has just emerged from his room, he eyes Loki with a hopeful look. “Good morning?”

Loki nods, “Good morning.”

Odin sighs, “Loki, we need to talk about something. There has been a lot of calls for a prime-time interview. I know you aren’t ready for talking about it right now but… an interview would bring in a lot more support for the case.”

“I don’t think we’re ready for talking yet. Not like that,” Frigga interrupts.

Loki hesitates, and notices Fenrir is only using the colors from Room. “Love, you have all these colors. Why don’t you use them? You could draw with every color; the possibilities are endless.”

Fenrir ignores her and keeps coloring. Loki bites her finger, wanting to tear those stupid colors from his hand and throw them in the trash. In a bit of frustration, she pulls out other colors from the box in front of Odin and places them in front of Fenrir. “Use them.”

Thor places a hand on hers and offers a pink crayon to Fenrir, “Here buddy, maybe try this one to color your bird with? I think it would look pretty cool.” Fenrir takes it and begins tentatively coloring with it.

“Thank you,” Loki mouths, feeling guilty for snapping at her son.

Thor smiles and goes back to convincing Fenrir to color with a purple crayon now. He refuses and goes back to the ugly red one. Loki sits there, her hands wringing together nervously as she thinks about the possibility of telling her story to a stranger. She hasn’t even told her family everything.

“Are you guys ready for lunch?” Frigga asks a bit later.

Fenrir notices Ma doesn’t eat but he is enjoying the macaroni and cheese. He watches Thor do dumb tricks and flicks the mac into his mouth catching it the first time with glee. This causes a competition in which macaroni is being flicked back and forth between the two. No one comments that Loki ends up with most of Fenrir’s macaroni in her hair. She stands, leaving the table to go sit on the couch, curling up under a blanket.

“Alright you two, you are making a mess. Come help me clean,” Frigga laughs picking stray macaroni out of Fenrir’s hair, which makes him giggle.

Thor obliges and takes the empty bowls into the kitchen, leaving only Odin and Fenrir at the table. The silence is awkward.

“Do you know about Dylan the Digger?” Fenrir finally asks out of nowhere.

“Who?”

“Dylan!” Fenrir picks up his drawing which is of a bulldozer, well it is what Odin thinks is a bulldozer.

“I cannot say that I do,” Odin replies and moves his chair, so he can see the picture better. “Can you tell me about him?”

Fenrir begins to explain in a quiet voice, every once in a while, glancing behind him at his mother to make sure she still is there. Odin listens and as he does, it opens his eyes. Fenrir is much like Loki was when she was his age. His eyes glisten with curiosity that Loki’s once did, and Odin has to wipe a tear away.

The rest of the day goes rather slow for Fenrir. Odin says his goodbye, telling them that he needed to get back to the office to take care of the paperwork Loki signed. Frigga spends her day trying to get Loki to talk but the woman refuses, just turning away from her.

“How are you doing, Fenrir?” Fenrir looks at Thor, not answering. Fenrir continues playing with his toys not far from the table.

“You have a dog?” Fenrir finally speaks up.

Thor smiles. “I do. Named Hogun. Very smart. You’ll have to meet him sometime. He’ll shake your hand. Sometimes he stays here with Grandma when I have to do detective work.”

“I had a dog called Rocket. But he’s not real.”

“Yeah?”

“In Room.”

Thor takes this in but decides not to go on with it. “You ever play catch, Fenrir?”

Fenrir shakes his head.

Soon they are in the backyard, Fenrir is wearing his hat and glasses but no sunscreen. The backyard itself is small with a few trees lining around the fence but Fenrir thinks it’s the best place ever. He kneels to investigate the dirt and grass, taking a deep breath in.

A while later they are throwing a plastic bouncy ball between them. Fenrir becomes irritated by his shoes. “I hate shoes.”

Thor nods in agreement. “I hear what you are saying, but…” Thor drops the ball and gives it a light kick towards Fen who kicks it back. “They have their uses. Am I right?”

They play for a little while longer, getting further apart until a new voice startles them, a young neighbor boy, who seems to be the same age as Fenrir. “Hey. I have a ball like that.”

Thor is wary but open. “No kidding, it’s a nice ball isn’t it?”

“I got mine for my birthday.”

“Fantastic. You hear that, Fenrir? He got this same ball for his birthday,” Thor says sounding enthusiastic. Fenrir does not respond, this is the first other child Fenrir has ever seen. He doesn’t know how to react.

“Why is he wearing those glasses?”

“He’s got sore eyes.”

The neighbor boy seems to contemplate this but, in the end, decides it’s an acceptable answer. He turns to Fenrir, “My name is Peter. I live with my dad down the street. Did you get that ball for your birthday?” Fenrir shakes his head. “What did you get for your birthday?”

“I got a truck, but it broke, and Ma got me a cake.”

“A cake is not a present.”

“Yes, it is.”

“That’s weird. A cake’s just something to eat. No way is it a birthday present.”

Fenrir looks at Thor before bursting into tears and fleeing. Thor and the neighbor kid watch him go, Thor telling the kid he should head back home. Thor follows behind Fenrir.

Fenrir though runs straight to his mother where she is still laying on the couch, unmoving.

“Ma! Ma!”

Loki waves Fenrir off, groaning and covering her head. The sound is too much for her. “What Fenrir?”

“Is cake a present?”

“What?”

Fenrir sits next to her, watching Loki fall even more into Gone Day Ma. He hates Gone Day Ma. She finally turns over to look at him.

“Have you been outside?”

Fenrir nods, “Uncle Thor and I played catch for a while.”

Loki growls, standing up from the couch to march over to grab chamomile lotion to put all over his face. Thor enters the room and freezes, knowing he did something wrong by the look she gives him.

“Thor! Don’t ever take Fenrir outside unless you know what you are doing. He can seriously be hurt by the sun! You dumb, stupid oaf!” Loki yells, Thor barely flinches.

“I’m so sorry. It is overcast outside, Loki. I figured it was okay and that he might want to get some energy out.”

“He has never had any UV. This is serious stuff, okay Thor. Think first before you do something stupid.” Loki growls rounding off and going back to her room.

When she gets there Loki pulls out old boxes of photos and starts to become morbidly obsessed with them. Fenrir sits next to her.

“Look at this,” she shows him an old photo of herself when she was in high school, she is so young, her face free of any blemishes and her smile is so bright. “Do you know who that is?”

“You?” Fenrir guesses.

“Yes.”

Fenrir nods and gestures to the others in the photo. “That is one of my best friends, Sigyn, the one next to her is Steven Strange, and the last one is Tony Stark. That’s how people did their hair back then. We were a part of a physics club in school. We were pretty smart and did cool experiments all the time. Do you know what happened to them?”

“No.” Fenrir shook his head.

“Exactly. Nothing. They lived, and nothing happened. Look…” Loki says and picks up the laptop from the floor by the bed. She had been looking through her friend’s pages from Facebook. She clicks on them, pointing to their pictures in frustration. They are happy and living perfect lives. She closes and pushes the laptop away.

“Show me more when you were young, Ma. I like seeing you when you were young”

“No. I don’t want you to see any more. I don’t want you to look at anymore right now. Let’s be quiet for a while.” They sit for a bit. Then Loki begins to pace the room, gnawing her lips, wincing, trying, and failing to keep her despair out of view.

Fenrir doesn’t know what to do, so he does as he was told and sits quietly on the bed, falling asleep not long after.

Fenrir wakes that night with a gasp, a nightmare. He reaches for Loki, but she is not there. He crawls out of bed and into the hallway. He hears noises coming from downstairs. He follows the sound until he is standing outside the living room.

“You were gone!” Fenrir cries out and Loki finally turns towards him. She has been crying but comes over to him, sniffling. She kneels so they are at eye level.

“We got some good news.”

“You were gone,” Fenrir whimpers.

“Hey listen. Thanos is going to jail for a really long time. Your grandpa called us to tell us the news.”

“I know Thanos is in jail.”

“But now he’ll be there forever and ever. And I don’t have to see him ever again. Isn’t that great?” Fenrir nods, not understanding what’s going on. “We can stop worrying now and start to do all the things we want.” She picks him up in a hug spinning them. She takes him back to bed and for the first time in a while, she sleeps the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Thanos is going to jail! Wahoo! Hope you enjoyed this super long chapter! Also Odin is becoming a good grandpa! Sometimes your kid has to call you a selfish and cowardly old man before you get your shit together. 
> 
> Like always, if you like this story and just want to let it be known, leave a kudos or a comment! They make me more motivated to put out the next chapter!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	8. The Interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a warning, this chapter contains the "mention of suicide" warning. It's at the very end of the chapter. I will put "~~~!!!~~~" this before that certain part. I promise there is nothing extremely graphic but I just want to warn those who that might effect.

The next day Fenrir sits with Dr. Banner. He sits and answers questions for him. He does as he asks and points at the squares and different shapes that the man asks about. The doctor seems pleased with the answers Fenrir is giving him. After a little while, Frigga comes in the room.

“I’m sorry,” Frigga apologizes. “I can’t get her to come down, Dr. Banner.”

Dr. Banner stands. “OK. Let her rest. I’ll see you again next week, Fenrir.”

“Bye.”

Dr. Banner and Frigga leave the room. Fenrir hears them talking quietly in the hall.

“For the past few days, it’s been all downhill. She was ecstatic to hear the news that Thanos was going to prison but it’s like she crashed,” Frigga explains. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Well, my best suggestion would be to get her into therapy. Actually, speaking to someone about what she is going through,” Dr. Banner explains. “I'm worried what will happen if she continues to neglect to do this. Most of the time, it does not bode well for anyone. Just tell her to get rest for now.”

“Thank you doctor. We will try our best,” Frigga smiles and escorts the doctor out of the house. She lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Grandma?” Fenrir runs up to her.

“Yes, baby?”

“Dora?” Fenrir asks, reaching his hand out. “Please?”

Frigga smiles and hands him her phone after she pulls up episodes of Dora the Explorer. “Here you go. Thank you for saying please.”

Fenrir takes the phone upstairs to sit on the floor beside the bed where Loki is laying.

“Fenrir. Please turn that off,” she groans. Fenrir keeps watching, ignoring his mother’s request. “Now. I mean it. Now, Fenrir.”

“I want to watch!”

“Fenrir. Please. Please. I’m begging you, please turn that off,” she begs, twisting in pain at the sound of the show. Fenrir switches off the show. “It reminds me too much of Room. I can’t have it. It hurts my head.”

Fenrir ignores her with a huff. He doesn’t understand why it bothers Ma so much to be reminded of Room. Sometimes he misses TV and Wardrobe, but he never mentions it to her.

“You’ve got so many other things to play with. You should try something else,” she begs, and he doesn’t respond. “Come on. Let’s look at all your stuff.” She drags him downstairs by the arm to the living room. She makes him look at the piles and piles of toys none of them opened. “Look at all these toys. Most kids would love that stuff. You’ve barely even touched them.”

“I don’t want to. I want to watch Dora.”

“Come on, Fenrir. Just look at them, for me?”

He shuffles into the pile. Loki crouches and tears open a box of Lego. “This is pretty cool, right? You used to love building with things in-”

Frigga steps in beside her daughter and Loki turns towards her. ” Loki, sweetheart, it’s okay if he doesn’t want to play with those right now.”

“He needs something real to do. I’m getting worried about him with the phone. He shouldn’t be on it all day long. It’s bad for him, mother.”

“He’s fine,” Frigga says, putting a hand on her shoulder which Loki tears away from. Loki can hardly stand being touched these days, every brush of a hand reminding her of Thanos. She wants to scream.

“I don’t give him my phone so please don’t give him yours. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I want him to connect to something real, you know?”

“He’s doing fine,” Frigga says with a smile. “He’s so smart and he’s adjusting to everything perfectly. It’s not him I’m worried about, Loki…”

Loki’s aggression deserts her. She is distressed and afraid. She screws up her face and hides it in her hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong. I can’t feel anything. Even for…” Her hands fling towards Fenrir, her words choking back.

“Loki, please. You can’t say that,” Frigga is shocked.

She stands pointing at her mother. “Don’t judge me. You have no right. People walk around like everything is alright. That the world isn’t some sort of shitshow, but it is.”

Frigga reaches out once again but Loki screeches, not loud enough to startle Fenrir. “Don’t! Don’t touch me anymore. I thought this would be heaven, but it’s worse. It’s so much worse. Every day I wake up and I expect to be back in that damn room. Every time a door opens, I expect it to be him. You all don’t get it.”

“You just need to rest,” Frigga offers.

Loki stiffens, closing whatever crack of vulnerability she exposed moments ago. “No, I don’t! That’s not what I need!”

“Well considering you don’t listen to Dr. Banner and his opinion of what you should do. His best option was for you just to rest-”

Loki wipes away tears from her face. When her hands fall to her sides her fists are clenched tightly, like she’s holding back. “No. That’s not what he said. You don’t know what he said. That’s confidential and you don’t even know. Just forget it.”

Frigga turns away from Loki, frustrated. “I feel like you’re impossible to speak to right now. I’ve tried everything to get you to speak to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, you aren’t sorry.”

“You think you know what’s in my head? Trust me, you couldn’t handle it.”

“Tell me and see. I’ve asked you. I ask you all the time.”

“So, you’re seeing a monster that can’t even help herself, let alone her child?”

“You’re my daughter, that’s what I’ll see.”

“Yeah, well… you all seemed to fare pretty well without me. I wouldn’t want to ruin it.”

“How can you say that? You think you’re the only one whose life was destroyed when you disappeared?” Frigga looks appalled at Loki.

“Actually, that’s exactly what I think.”

“How would you feel if someone took Fenrir from you?”

“How dare you! Shut up!” Loki cries.

Fenrir covers his ears with his hands and Frigga points at him.

“Look at him. You should be thinking about him! All you are doing is being selfish!”

“Don’t you ever tell me how to look after my son. I’m sorry if I’m not ‘nice’ enough for you. Maybe, if you hadn’t been in my head saying, ‘be nice’ my entire life I wouldn’t have gone and helped that stupid man and his fucking dog? Did you ever think about that?”

Frigga snaps and in a moment of weakness, reaches back and slaps Loki. “How dare you blame this all on me. We have done nothing but try and help, Loki.”

“Well maybe you should stop trying. It’d make your life easier.” Loki whispers, her hand on her cheek. “This isn’t my home. I don’t even know what this is anymore.”

She leaves, and Fenrir shakes, holding back tears.

“I’m sorry, Fenrir,” Frigga says moving to hug him, but he stiffens and pulls away from her, and she stops.

 

~~~

 

Fenrir feels brave enough to go upstairs and finds Ma sitting on the bed, calmer than before. Her eyes are red, but her demeanor is a lot happier.

“Come here, baby,” Loki says, and he does, cuddling into her. He takes in a deep breath and relaxes. “You know, Fen, we’re going to have to move away from here someday. We’re going to have to get our own house. And a yard. Our own little dog we can name Rocket. We can eat as much as we want whenever we want.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, baby.” She kisses his head and a tear falls into his hair.

~~~

A few days later Fenrir watches as vans roll up. There is a woman who climbs out of the van and he recognizes her from the TV in Room. He always found her boring, but Ma had liked to watch her show.

He watches as Loki puts on her best clothes, a simple green dress that flows to the floor. Her hands shake as she tries to zip it up. In the end, Fenrir has to help her. They go downstairs together, and Fenrir is fascinated by the machinery. He listens to the crew talk, watching them set up their gear.

Ma goes with someone who begins putting makeup on her and fixes her long, black hair. Fenrir wants to go to her but then Frigga grabs his hand. “It’s time for you to go upstairs, Fenrir. Remember what your mum said.” She guides him upstairs into Thor’s room who promised to watch him.

The house is quiet, and Thor is asleep in a chair. He had been out on duty the night before and accidentally fell asleep. So, Fenrir sees his chance and escapes, creeping down the hall, taking the stairs as quietly as he can. He edges into the living room, finding lights shining down on his mother and the old woman. They face each other in armchairs.

“You are an amazing, inspiring, courageous, beautiful young woman. I know all our viewers are amazed by the intelligence and poise and endurance and inner strength you displayed. Truly, an amazing test of character. I can never understand the courage you carried to get yourself and Fenrir out.”

Loki gives a small smile, “Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s all meant so much for myself and my entire family, a blessing to have so many supporters out there.”

“And Fenrir. Your son. By all accounts he is a normal, high-functioning, happy little boy. Amazing.”

“He is. He’s my life. I never could have survived without him. He’s all I had, and I was all he had.”

“You made life as normal and nurturing as you could give the environment. You gave him a childhood. How did you manage to do that?”

“I… I didn’t think about it. I didn’t plan it. When I found out I was pregnant with Fenrir, it just seemed like a horrible joke. You know? To bring someone into that place, it just seemed so wrong. I wasn’t in a very good frame of mind at the situation and it was hard to adjust..." Loki tries to control her emotions, tears spill out and she puts her face in her hands.

“Are you okay?”

Odin steps in, “I’m getting the feeling she needs to-”

The hostess holds her hand up to stop him, not taking her eyes off of Loki. “Just a minute, please.”

Loki finds her voice, calmer now and she gives a small smile at the memory. “Then, everything was so beautiful once Fenrir came, because I had to keep him safe. He was beautiful, and I swear all I did was stare at him for hours and hours. I did my best to keep that man away from Fenrir."

“When he’s older will you talk to him about his father? About what happened to you both?

“Fenrir’s not his.”

The Hostess leans in thinking she’s getting an astonishing scoop. “I beg your pardon, are you-”

Loki interrupts her, holding a hand up, “A father’s a man who loves his child."

“So true, in a very real sense but the genetic relationship-”

“Genetics mean nothing. I’ve said this before to others, but Fenrir is nobody’s but mine. I raised him, taught him what I could, and we made the best of a bad situation for five years."

The hostess nods along but decides to change tack. “You breastfed Fenrir for five years - in fact, viewers may be startled to learn that you still do.”

“In this whole story, that’s the shocking detail? That I breastfeed my son? That's the whole story there.” Loki is confused that these are the questions that she’s being asked. She figured they’d ask her about life outside of Room, how Fenrir is taking to everything but not this.

The hostess looks over at a colleague, down at her notes. The woman flips the page over, obviously looking for something deeper. She finds it and stares Loki straight in the eyes. “Did it ever occur to you to ask your captor to take Fenrir away?”

“Away? Away to where?”

“To leave him outside a hospital, say, so he’d be found.”

“Why would I-”

“So Fenrir could be free. The ultimate sacrifice, of course, but for him to have a normal childhood…”

“He was with me... He had a normal childhood...”

“It would have been the hardest decision a mother would ever have to make. But did you ever consider it would have been for the best? To get him out?”

“I... “Loki stammers and can feel her entire body start to clam up. It hits her like a freight train and suddenly the lights are too bright and the voice coming from the woman is too loud. Loki stands but finds herself attached to a mic pack and rips it off. For a second she fights with it, getting more tangled up in the process

“Ms. Odinson?”

“I can’t… I need…” Loki gasps, can barely breathe. Suddenly chaos erupts around the room. There are too many people trying to touch her and when someone finally grabs her arm, she screams as if she’s been burned.

“Don’t touch me! Let me go!”

She finally is able to get out of the wires and away from the circle of cameras and lights. Fenrir reaches out for her, but she ignores him, tearing up the stairs. She crashes into Thor in the hallway, who had heard the commotion and was coming to check out what was wrong. He notices the look in her eyes and immediately recognizes it.

“Loki? Loki. Listen to me. You’ve got to breathe for me sister,” Thor tells her. “It’s okay, you are safe.”

Loki nods, trying her best to control her breathing but all she can think about is that she messed up. How Fenrir could have lived a better life if she hadn’t been so selfish.

“Can I touch you Loki?” Thor asks, waiting for a response. She nods slightly, and he wraps an arm around her. Thor ushers Loki down the hall into her bedroom, away from the prying eyes of any of the camera crew that are still in the house.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Loki shakes her head. “No.” Thor notices tears still stream down her face, but her expression is blank.

~~~

“Is she alright?” Frigga asks glancing at the closed door behind Thor. It’s been an hour since Loki finally gave way to her exhaustion.

“I don’t know. I’ve seen panic attacks before but that was one of the worst… What had the interviewer asked her?”

Odin stands up from his chair, he too looks exhausted. It had taken all day to negotiate around what should happen with that tape. The discussion was halted for the night but was more likely to presume in the morning. He quickly explains what was said during the interview to his son, who looks ready to throttle someone.

“It was bad, Thor.” Frigga says, glancing over at Fenrir who is pretending to play Track in the living room. “I never want to experience that again.”

~~~!!!~~~

Ma had come down for a bit earlier and had basically ignored everyone in the house. When she started back up the stairs he had followed, crawling into bed after her. That night, Fenrir woke, sensing himself alone. No Ma in bed: he touches the mark her body has left. No Ma in the room, he discovers once he has sat up. He gingerly rolls himself out of bed and into the hallway.

He tiptoes out into the landing. No Ma. The last door in the hallway is the bathroom, and there’s a crack of light. He taps very quietly on the door, remembering the rule. “Ma?” Silence.

Then he goes to the top of the stairs and considers going down but finds himself at the bathroom door once again. He whispers louder. “Ma?”

He tries the handle, but the door opens only a few inches, a drawer opened on the other side to block entry. Frightened he starts to bang on the door. Fenrir puts his face in the gap and sees his mum’s black hair spread out on the floor, she doesn’t move.

“MA! MA! NO!” Fenrir screams, trying his hardest to wriggle through the gap to get to her. At the sound of his screaming three doors fly open.

“Fenrir what’s wrong?”

“MA!”

Odin reaches for Fenrir pulling him out of the way. Thor easily breaks through, the drawer breaking against his weight and the bathroom door swings open.

Loki is pale and convulsing against the floor and that’s all Fenrir sees. Suddenly arms are wrapped around him and carrying him downstairs.

“MOTHER CALL THE AMBULANCE!” he hears his Uncle Thor yell and he can faintly hear Frigga sobbing into the phone, begging them to hurry faster.

“What-?”

Odin shushes him and tries to distract him from the chaotic screaming in the house. Soon enough paramedics are on the scene working on Loki. They respond enough to inform Frigga that she is still alive as they take her from the home. Thor is trying to calm his hysterical mother. Fenrir doesn’t hear what anyone is saying, doesn’t understand the commotion or where they are taking his Ma.

Ma is carried out on a stretcher and Fenrir runs after her but is caught by Odin. Fenrir tried everything to get away, screaming, kicking, even once biting his grandfather. By the time Fenrir manages to wiggle away and burst out the front door, his Ma is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is it for this chapter! I know it's kind of a cliffhanger but I should have the next chapter out tomorrow!
> 
> Thanks for reading, if you liked this chapter a bunch or just the story as a whole, let me know by leaving a comment or a kudos. I am really enjoying writing this and I'm sad it's close to being over!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	9. His Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! Only two left, I know I said 12 but the way it will work out 11 will work out so much better. This is a simple chapter, exploring Loki and Fenrir after "the night".

“I’m here to see my daughter, Loki. She was brought in last night. Can you point me in her direction?” Frigga asks the man at the front desk, it is six in the morning and the hospital is just now coming to life. There are nurses everywhere, some leaving and others just starting their shift. ”They wouldn’t let us see her last night.”

“Her room is the first one on the left. We just had a nurse leave, so she should be awake.”

Frigga thanks the man and walks to the door, taking a deep breath before stepping in. The room is dark, curtains drawn as close as they can get and the lights off. There is a single bed and a Loki sized lump on it.

“Loki? Are you awake?” Frigga asks quietly and crosses over to turn on a few of the lights.

Loki groans and turns away from the light. She hadn’t slept at all. There had been been people poking and prodding at her all night long. She vaguely remembers having her stomach pumped full of charcoal. “No…” 

Frigga nods and drags one of the chairs next to the bed and pulls out knitting needles. She does not look at Loki as she begins her task. 

“Aren’t you going to say something? Tell me how disappointed you are in me?”

Frigga continues knitting. 

“I don’t know what you want from me... At least say something…”

Frigga sets the needles down in her lap and Loki watches her face. For the first time, Loki registers how tired and sad Frigga is. The bags under her eyes are more evident than ever and Loki knows she has caused every single frown line she has. She hates how much she has hurt the people in her life.

“Is he okay? He wasn’t the one that…” Loki asks and at Frigga’s look, she puts her head in her hands. “Can I talk to him?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea, Loki? He might not want to talk to you. Are you prepared for that?” Frigga asks her, her tone serious. 

“No but I need to at least hear his voice. To tell him…”

Frigga nods and pulls out her phone, dialling home. 

“Hello, Thor. Yes she’s awake and talking. Can I speak to Fenrir please?”

Thor calls out for the boy, “Fenrir come here. It’s for you.”

It takes a few minutes for Fenrir to finally come downstairs to get the phone from Thor. 

Frigga’s smiles, “Hi baby, can you let me know that you can hear me?”

“I hear you. Ma?” His voice is far away, like he is holding the phone too far away.

“Is he there? Let me have the phone,” Loki says holding out her hand, shaking slightly. Frigga ignores her daughters rudeness and hands her the phone. 

“Fenrir?”

“Ma?”

Loki is struggling to control her voice, “Are you doing okay?”

“Come back.”

“What’s that Fen?” Loki puts a hand over her ear so she can hear a bit better.

Fenrir shouts a little louder, “Come back now, Ma!”

“I wish I could, my love. I just need to-”

“I pick. I pick for both of us. You come home now.”

Loki then breaks down into sobs and Fenrir throws the phone at Thor. Frigga takes it back and exits, talking to her son quietly.

“How is he today? He wasn’t up when I left this morning.”

“He’s okay. Quiet which isn’t unusual. Haven’t got him to eat. Even father has tried and there is nothing,” Thor tells her, his voice soft.

Frigga’s voice is shaky, “They’re taking her to see a therapist and I’m not sure what else. She still is hesitant to talk to me, she’s upset of course.”

“Give her time mother. She just needs to see that there is help out there.”

“You are right.”

“Speak to you later, mum.”

“Goodbye, I love you Thor.”

“Love you too.”

Frigga sighs and walks back into the room. Loki is sitting up, her knees pulled up to her chest. Frigga resumes her spot in the chair. 

They sit like this for a few hours, nurses coming in and out to check on Loki all day long. The more that come, the more snappy Loki gets and Frigga finally hits her limit. Thankfully visitor hours are over.

“I will be back tomorrow. Get some rest.”

~~~

The rest of the day, Fenrir plays in Loki’s room only coming out to watch TV with Frigga and Thor for a bit. He mopes around the house the rest of the day, Frigga and Thor give him space.

“Okay buddy, time for bed. Do you want to sleep in bed with Grandma?” Frigga asks, and Fenrir shakes his head, climbing into Loki’s bed and curls into her pillow. Frigga tucks him in and promises her door will be open to him if he needs her.

Fenrir doesn’t sleep too well that night, at one point turning on the lamp and pulling out pictures from Ma’s closet again. He looks through them quietly and at some point, falls asleep curled into the small space.

~~~

A week has passed, the house still is quiet but Fenrir is more open to Frigga and Thor. He actually accompanied her to the store. They are just getting back home and they both climb out of the car to carry the shopping bags inside. A neighbor from across the street sees them and waves.

“Been shopping?”

“Yes, we have. We’re going to make cupcakes.”

“That sounds like fun! You two have a good time!”

“We will!”

Frigga smiles and they carry their bags inside and to the kitchen. Frigga pulls a chair over so Fenrir can reach the counter.

“You know how to beat eggs, Fenrir?”

Fenrir nods, taking the bowl. “Sure. I did it before. In Room.”

“Did you? Wow. What else did you do there?”

“Lots of things. I miss it sometimes.”

“Wasn’t it awfully small?”

Fenrir shakes his head. “Uh uh, it went every direction all the way to the end. It never finished. And Ma was always there.”

“Okay,” Frigga says, not wanting to push him further.

“Wardrobe was the smallest part of room.”

“What did you do in wardrobe?”

“Sleep. When Thanos came,” there is a beat of silence. “I want to see Ma.”

“I know, my love. She just needs to be on her own for a little while. She has to be alone so she can get better.”

Fenrir nods but his head shoots up when he hears the door open. “Uncle Thor?”

“Hey Fenrir! There’s someone here who’d like to meet you,” the blonde man responds, and Fenrir jumps down from his chair.

When Fenrir rounds the corner, he comes face to face with a golden retriever Thor is holding by the collar. “Fenrir meet Hogun. Would you like to pet him?”

Fenrir nods but approaches cautiously, Hogun is wiggling with excitement but stills when Fenrir finally approaches him. Fenrir reaches out to pet the dog and withdraws before extending his hand again. He pets Hogun and the dog licks his hand. Fenrir gives a loud giggle before moving close enough that the dog gives him a kiss across the face.

Frigga appears from around the corner, a small but cautious smile on her face. Fenrir sees her. “I could just go in and tell Ma about Hogun. Only for a minute. Or I could just look at her.”

Frigga’s smile falls but before she can respond Thor has it handled. “Come on, bud, let’s get this guy some air after being all stuffed up in the car.” Thor puts the leash on Hogun and lathers Fenrir’s face in sunscreen. Soon they are walking down the street to the small park and Fenrir plays for a while, Thor watching with Hogun on the leash.

After about an hour, the three head back home.

Fenrir enters and sees Frigga reading. “Grandma?”

“Yes?”

“I need the scissors.”

“What for?”

“For cutting my hair.”

“You really want to do that?”

“I want to send it to Ma.”

“Why?”

“She needs my strong more than me. So, I want to send it to her. Or you could take it to her.”

Frigga smiles, moved, “I can help you if you’d like.”

“That would be great.”

Frigga stands and pulls over a chair, she goes down the hall and retrieves a sheet and wraps it around his neck. “Okay. Let’s do this right. I’ve wanted to cut that hair for a very long time.”

Fenrir climbs into the seat and Frigga ties a hairband as far up as she can, “Are you sure?”

Fenrir nods and Frigga snips the hair right above the hair band and it falls into her hand. “Here look.”

“Wow.”

Frigga then goes to shaping up his hair correctly, “I used to cut your mother’s hair all the time. And your uncles, when he would let me. I’ve still got it.”

“You think this will work? Can my strong be her strong too? I’m not really sure if it works that way.”

“Of course, it does. We all help each other stay strong. No one is strong alone. You and your mom, you help each other through, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You and me. And you and Thor. And Thor and me. Grandpa and me. We all have the same strong.”

“Ma used to tell me that Thor got his super powers from his long hair, that it gave him his strong. She said Thor was so strong that he could slay giants like Jack!” Fenrir recalls excitedly, showing Frigga his muscles.

Frigga laughs and kisses his head. “His hair used to be long enough you mother could braid it. Your mother and Thor were very close growing up. I came home one day and found you mother had somehow convinced him into a dress and had done his hair and makeup. They were only a couple years older than you at the time. I think I have the picture somewhere.”

“Uncle Thor told me he would protect us.”

“And he will, as will Grandpa and I. Now come on, time to wash that hair.” She says leading him into the bathroom sink.

She waits a second until the water is nice and warm before pouring it over his head and shampooing him. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

Fenrir closes his eyes and nods. She pours more water and more.

“I love you, Grandma,” he says as she towels off his hair.

“I love you, Fenrir.”

~~~

Loki had been in the psych ward for a little over a week and nothing seemed to be getting better. She couldn’t pull herself out of the hole she was in, every time she felt close she would slip and fall again. Always crashing harder than before. There had been bad nights where Loki screamed and cursed every person in her life, sending the nurses after medicine that would put the woman to sleep. Frigga, Thor, and Odin visited off and on but the doctors told them it would be best for Loki to work through her struggles herself. 

Other nights, Loki just cuddled into a pillow and cried. She cried out apologies to her son over and over. She cried out apologies to her parents and brother. She hated herself not being strong enough to fight off the darkness that seemed to consume her energy and life.

~~~

It had been a week and a half since that night. Loki was curled up in a small reading nook, a book in her hands as she watched the rain fall. Her attention was drawn away when a nurse tapped her on the shoulder, behind the nurse stood her mother. She was carrying a small bag with her. Loki gave a small wave.

“Hello, dear, how are you today?”

“It’s been a bit better today, I guess. I didn’t want to throttle anyone, so I consider that a success,” Loki points out and Frigga gives a small laugh. “The old man over there and I played a game or two of chess, which was at least a bit interesting.”

“I came by to give you a gift from Fen. He misses you, Loki.”

“I know but I don’t want to see him like this…” 

Frigga nods and hands Loki the small bag. Loki is confused as she pulls out a small ziploc baggie that contains Fenrir’s ponytail. 

“Is that?”

“His strong. He was so brave, it was his own idea to send it to you,” Frigga explains and hands the bag to Loki who takes it out and holds it in her hands. “He told me that you used to tell him Thor was a superhero who got his strength from his hair?”

Loki laughs through tears. “I did. I never told him about the outside world while we were in there. It seemed crazy to explain a world that he would never get to see. I think that hurt me more than it did him. It was simpler to just pretend all you and my life outside didn’t exist and focus on Fenrir and Room. To focus on the things I could see. It was horrible, there were days that forgot your voice and what Father looked like. I felt telling Fenrir that Thor was a superhero would be safe.”

Frigga relaxes into the couch, saying nothing as Loki opens up for the first time. Loki pulls a strand of the hair up to her own and begins to braid it into hers directly behind her ear. Suddenly she is reminded of Bad Tooth. She is reminded how Fenrir kept it with him so he’d have the strength to do as she asked and escape from Thanos. Loki is hit with the realization that she needs him just as much as he needs her. It’s always been the two of them together. She takes the band that is around her wrist and ties off the braid.

“He deserves so much better than myself as his mum. I thought that maybe if I wasn’t there, he could thrive but I was so wrong. Thanos took so much from me but the sun has set on him. It’s time for the sun to shine on Fenrir and myself. That’s what Fenrir deserves. He deserves to run free and happy for the rest of his life and I want to see that, Mum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So this chapter was a bit hard. 
> 
> The braiding of Fenrir’s hair into Loki’s is reminiscent of Thor’s hair in Thor: The Dark World. I loved that imagery and wanted to incorporate it into this.
> 
> Liked this chapter or just the story in general? Leave a kudos or a comment! I really love seeing them and it makes me want to put out chapters faster! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


	10. You Saved Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I have been so incredibly busy. 
> 
> So this will be the last chapter I am going to post. Perhaps one day I might post the epilogue as a separate fic entirely. I just want to thank everyone who has read this and liked it! It was a ton of fun!

A few more days later Fenrir is playing out in the backyard with the neighbor boy, Peter, and Hogun. They are running and kicking a ball back in forth, laughter fills the air. Hogun chases them with happy barks, the boys screaming in delight.

Fenrir is chasing after the ball when he suddenly hears a tap tap tap on the glass door leading out into the backyard. Loki. It has been three weeks since he has last seen her, and he stops dead in his tracks. 

“Fenrir? What’s wrong?” asks Peter who is scratching Hogun on the tummy. 

Fenrir abandons his friend and runs to her. Loki throws the door open calling out his name. They crash together in a hug. Loki whispers sweet words into his ears. Apologizing to him repeatedly. 

“I’m sorry, Fenrir.”

“That’s okay. Don’t do it again.”

“I promise, Fen.”

“Are you better now?”

“Starting to be,” She strokes his now short hair, her hand carding through every black lock. Then she pushes back her hair to reveal the braid. “See? This is your hair and mine braided together, that way I’ll always keep this with me. It will never ever come out of my hair. It reminded me of Bad Tooth and I knew I could get better. To be just as strong as you are. You saved me, my love. Again.”

They sit quietly and placidly a moment. Fenrir reaches for her shirt. “Can I…?”

“I’m sorry. There’s none left.”

Fenrir contemplates this but then nods, accepting the new situation He holds her braid again, following it up to where it reaches her scalp. “Okay.”

“I’m not a good enough Ma for you, Fenrir.”

“But you’re my Ma.”

“I am,” she wraps and arm around him, kissing his head. “I love you Fenrir.”

Fenrir pulls away from her and points to the door. “I’m going to play with Peter now. He’s my friend. We are playing ball.”

Loki nods and hugs him hard before he leaves.

~~~

“Fenrir? Do you want to go on a trip with me?”

 

“Sure. Where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise.”

It has been about a month since Loki had returned home and she believed that she was on the road to a better life. Fenrir was doing nothing but thriving in this new environment and Loki couldn’t be more proud. 

The two of them raced to Loki’s “new” car, a slightly better than beat up car more like it. She quickly buckled him in and slid into the driver's seat. The drive ahead of them was long so Loki made sure to time their stops so they could both get out and stretch their legs. Loki herself still had a bit of problems being in enclosed spaces for a long time. 

Finally, Loki pulled into a spot. Fenrir was passed out in the backseat. 

“Baby, come on, wake up. We are here,” Loki smiled and shook his arm, slowly but surely the boy roused. 

“What-”

“It’s the ocean. I told you I would take you to see it. Come on, you want to touch the water?”

Fenrir nods his head and takes Loki’s hand, together they walk out onto the beach. Fenrir hates the sand at first but after some coaxing he finally walks out on it. The beach itself is empty except for a couple farther down the beach. 

“It’s big.”

“I know, it’s actually so big that it hasn’t been completely explored. Do you want to stick your feet it? The water feels really good, it might be a bit cold.”

Fenrir grins, “Yes, please.” Loki bends down and rolls up his pant legs enough so they won’t get soaking wet. She does the same to her own pair.

“So the best way to get into the water is to jump.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s more fun!” Loki shouts before running towards the water and jumping in, splashing herself a bit when she lands. Fenrir follows and jumps in as well, squealing at the cold. They spend the rest of the day like this, splashing each other. It is well past lunch time when they both collapse laughing on the beach. Loki looks over at Fenrir and wishes time would stop in this moment. When all of their troubles are the farthest they’ve ever been.

“Ma, I’m hungry,” Fenrir finally speaks. 

“Me too. Ready to go?” 

“Yeah.”

Soon they are back on the highway, singing out loud to the radio when Loki spots a small restaurant on the side of the road. 

“We could try this?”

“Okay.”

Loki and Fenrir enter the diner and both immediately take a deep breath in and moan. It smells so, so good. A short, dark haired woman seats them, handing them both menus which are only one page.

“What sounds good to you Fen?”

Fenrir shrugs.

“You know, since we don’t really know what we like, Fenrir. We are going to try everything. How does that sound to you?”

The woman comes back to take their order and gives Loki a look when she asks for one of everything they have, including drinks. Loki reminds herself to leave the woman a large tip. About half an hour later the woman brings them their food.

“Dig in buddy.”

Fenrir finds he likes the cheese fries and chicken strips, but his favorite thing is the large soda since the fizzes make his tongue feel funny. Loki is reminded how much she missed the taste of a good burger and groans. Loki laughs at the cheese that is all over their faces when they sit, bellies completely full. Fenrir laughs as well. She hands him a napkin and wipes his face.

“I love you Fenrir.”

“I love you, Ma.”

“Are you ready to go back home?”

“Yeah. Can we get ice cream?”

“Not full enough?”

Fenrir shakes his head.

“Of course we can get ice cream and I know just where we can eat it.”

They stop at the grocery store and get three giant tubs of ice cream, one of chocolate, one cookie dough, and one mint, which Fenrir insisted on. Ma also puts cones in the cart.

They hurry home and get their ice cream each of them carrying two ice cream cones. They recline in the hammock they put up together a few days ago. Perfect.

“We have so many things to do. Flying in an airplane,” Fenrir suggests and Loki nods enthusiastically.

“Definitely. Traveling to different places sounds like fun.”

They both sit in comfortable silence, licking at their ice cream as the hammock swings back and forth in the summer breeze.

“Ma?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go back to Room?”

Loki gulps, concerned. “What?”

“Just for a visit.”

“I’m not sure…” Loki hesitates but Fenrir’s look makes her give in. “We’ll see what I can do.”

~~~

“Are you sure you want to do this, Loki?” Thor his voice soft and kind, but a hint of worry is hidden deep in it. Thor shared his concerns that this could cause a relapse in Loki’s mental health. The police car he’s driving pulls up outside Thanos’. Loki, Fenrir, and Thor get out and all Loki can do is stare at the house.

“I think so,” Loki says and ignores the feeling of being sick to her stomach. She wants to go already but knows that this will be a big stepping stone for her and Fenrir’s recovery.

The carport is blocked off by police and the only way to the back is through the house. Loki is surprised how neat the house is, besides the desk that the police ransacked. It’s strange how normal it looks, for some reason she suspected it to look like a shithole or full of dead bodies. 

She is curious as they make their way to the back door, examining every detail of the house. It’s simple, two stories. There is an exercise machine in the living room which Loki finds odd. There are paintings adorning the walls and Loki fights the impulse to rip them down. No more money her ass. Each room paints a better picture in her mind of that psycho and who he was. Luckily or unluckily, she finds no evidence he lived here with anyone. As they enter the kitchen, the grey shed comes into view and there is a giant bulldozer beside it.

“Dylan!” Fenrir shouts and rushes over to touch but Loki stops him. Her eyes don’t leave the shed and Fenrir remembers that they are here because he had asked. The boy confidently leads his mother over and watches as her hands shake as she pulls the door open.

The drawings have been ripped off the walls and furniture shifted: the magic’s gone. Fenrir stares and sniffs the air.

“This isn’t Room. Has it gotten shrinked? My friends...”

“Taken away for evidence, proof that we were here,” she says softly, only a foot inside Room. Fenrir goes around and tracks marks around the bed. He draws an F in the fingerprint powder on the table. Plant is all shriveled. Fenrir strokes it. Under the bed he finds Eggsnake; touching the needle tongue. He goes back to the doorway, with Ma. He measures his height with his hand: an inch over the 5.

~~~~~

As Fenrir examines the room, Loki can’t help but remember the last time she was in Room. Thanos had left with Fenrir. For the first time in five years, Loki found herself totally alone. It was hard to convince herself that Fenrir was safe, that he was going to make it. That Thanos wouldn’t notice the boy was alive or had made his escape until it was too late. Her heart jumped into her throat when she heard the tell-tale beeping of the door, she glanced at her watch. It was too early he’d only been gone 15 minutes. She quickly crossed across the room and grapped one of the knives, yanking as hard as she can to get it dislodged from the wall, just as the door opens it breaks free..

Thanos growled and crashes through the door, a look in his eyes that Loki had never seen before. She quickly eyed the open door behind him, trying to find any possible way to get around him and out. 

Her dream was quickly dashed when he slammed the door shut. Thanos ran straight at her and Loki brought the knife up to stab him, but her wrist was caught midair.

“What did you expect to happen with that tiny knife girl?” Thanos asked and twisted her wrist to make her drop the knife with a yelp. “How dare you trick me, Loki. After all I have done for you? Given you shelter and food. You ungrateful slut.”

Loki kicked at the man’s shins, but he didn’t seem to be fazed by her. “I’d do it again, you bastard.”

“Your brat kid drew a lot of attention before I could catch him. If there hadn’t been people around, I would have killed him right there,” Thanos sneers in her face. Loki spits in his face which causes the man to throw her straight onto the concrete floor. Her head connects with the concrete and causes her world to spin. “You are going to regret this.”

Loki groans but stares up at the man. Her voice is surprisingly steady, “You can go ahead and kill me if you want.”

“Oh, I’m not going to kill you. That would be too simple. You and I are going to leave. If you fight me, I will find that boy of yours and kill him.”

“Fuck you.”

Thanos laughs and gives Loki another kick. He hauls her from the floor by her hair and throws her into the wall. Before she can gather herself, he has her pinned. Loki can smell alcohol on his breath and she almost gags but his hand is wrapped around her throat before she can. Loki doesn’t remember much after that however, blacking out and giving into the darkness. 

She doesn’t know how long, breaking open the door with a crowbar. A flashlight shines on her face and Loki manages to stand with their help. One of them mentions “Fenrir” and “black car out front” and Loki breaks free, stepping out of Room for the first time in seven years.

~~~

Loki is staring at the marks around the door frame when Fenrir’s voice pulls her from her memory. 

“It’s because Door’s open.”

“What?”

“It can’t really be Room if Door’s open.”

“Do you - would you like it closed?” Loki asks, and her voice is shaky.

Fenrir shakes his head.

“I want to go now, love. Is there… anything you need?”

Fenrir looks around at the remains of his childhood, then walks to the wall behind the bed and pats it. “Bye bye wall.”

“Fenrir.”

Fenrir goes around the room fast, whispering bye byes to everything. “Bye bye chair. Bye Bye Meltedy Spoon. Bye bye.”

“Please, Fenrir.”

Fenrir Looks up at the skylight, rain running down it. He climbs onto the table. “Bye bye skylight.” He climbs down and runs over to Ma, grabbing her hand. “Say bye-bye too Room.”

Loki turns, glancing over Room one more time. It will take time, but she nods. “Bye-bye Room. Come Fenrir, time to go.”

They both exit, shutting the door behind them. Their hands are linked and swing between them.

They walk away and don’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now! If you liked this fic and want to read the epilogue, one day when I find the motivation to write it, leave a kudos or a compliment! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I am glad you enjoyed this fic!
> 
> Tumblr: http://mylifethroughthetrees.tumblr.com/


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